


The Moon's Shard

by jupiter_box



Series: To Be Whole Again [1]
Category: Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Gen, How Do I Tag, Moon Powers Varian (Disney), More tags and stuff are being added as i remember them, Trans Varian (Disney), Varian Has Issues (Disney), Varian Needs a Hug (Disney), because im trans and i say so, first fic, gonna actually try and finish, my god everyone has issues, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-18 15:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28994595
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jupiter_box/pseuds/jupiter_box
Summary: There is something different about Varian, and he doesn't even know where to start, and it's eating him up from the inside out. The rocks react strangely to him, he has some sort of connection with Rapunzel, and his dad is gone. And now, all he wants is answers.
Relationships: Eugene Fitzherbert | Flynn Rider/Rapunzel
Series: To Be Whole Again [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2126967
Comments: 26
Kudos: 75





	1. Promises Made in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I'm going to be doing my first Moon Powers Varian thing here, because I want to hop on that bandwagon too
> 
> I'm probably not doing this right, but spare me, I'll figure this out ksfksjk
> 
> I'm gonna try and focus on this thing as much as I can, I wanna finish a fic for once gfdhgfusdgf
> 
> I don't know if my take on this whole "Moon Varian" thing is anything new but I had fun writing it
> 
> enjoy!
> 
> warning // food and (assumed) death

Varian knew something was different. He felt different, thought different. Something changed, has _been_ changing, for quite a while now.

Ever since...

Rapunzel.

The princess, the heir to the throne, the king's daughter, his princess, had came to him months ago, seeking help and answers.

_The Sundrop._

Yes, the Sundrop, a powerful stone sent from the heavens as a gift from the sun goddess herself, now made its home in the, formerly, lost princess, who is practically the embodiment of the sun herself, her smile akin to the warm, late summer rays gently hitting the earth and keeping all its inhabitants comfortably warm. She was, obviously, the best choice.

Varian relayed this information as he approached a new set of rocks that had broken through his home's dining room. Why had he been feeling this way? Why had his thoughts been plagued with a need, a _want_ for Rapunzel? Why did he simply feel more whole in her presence? It seemed she filled an emptiness he never knew had been there.

But _why?_

The alchemist, always the thinker, snapped out of his thoughts as the sharp anomaly jutted further out from the corner of the dining table, shining a dull, cobalt blue in the place where his index finger had briefly been before jolting away at the sudden development of growth.

Did it just- _react to him_? They never did that before, did they?

He scuffled away, cautiously backing out of the interaction with the thing, now, officially and thoroughly, confused.

"Varian," Quirin - his father, looking back at his son with a smile - called from the kitchen, working on making a dinner for the two of them, "Are you done setting the table?"

Varian, at that, then remembered what he was supposed to be doing in the first place - certainly not messing with the black rocks, that's for sure - his body jolting upon this realization, quickly reaching over and picking up the bowls he had previously set down, only to distribute them across the table.

Of course, he realizes, he accidentally got one too many bowls and sets of silverware, an old habit he had developed a little after he turned four.

_The boy took the two glass plates which his father had given him - he was too small to reach anything in the kitchen other than the cupboards on the floor - and stared down at them blankly._

_"Da?" The little boy asks, turning his head up towards the tall man in front of him, "Why's there only two?"_

_Quirin paused for a moment, a grieving expression reaching across his face, and stared down at his son._

_"Because," he began, "There's only two of us now."_

_This made Varian's head tilt, eyes wide with innocence, "Why? Where'd mommy go?"_

_A grimace settled on his father's face._

_"She went to a better place."_

_A sadness fell upon Varian's features._

_"Why would mommy leave us?" Tears pricked at his eyes - Why would she leave him? - "Why would she abandon us, daddy?"_

_His dad knelt in front of the small boy, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "She had no choice, son," he sighed out through his nose, "No one gets to decide when they get to go."_

_"No," the boy's face scrunched up, tears streaming relentlessly down his cheeks. "No! No, no, no! She wouldn't- couldn't she have at least said goodbye? Couldn't-" his breath hitched in this throat for a moment before he gave in, thrusting his body forward and reaching his arms around his father's chest in a hug._

_He allowed him to sob into his clothes, wrapping his big, warm arms around his tiny, fragile body. Running circles up and down his son's back in a comforting motion and whispering soft I love you's and_ I'm sorry _'s into his ears._

_He cried until he fell asleep, and when he woke up that next morning, he was laying in his bed, with the sweet smell of blueberry pancakes, his all time favorite breakfast, wafting all the way into his room from the kitchen._

"Uh, haha, yep! Just finished," Varian turned and smiled back to his dad. His expression wavered as he turned back towards the rock. "Maybe we should start moving our dining table," He said with an air of humor, a grin returning with the joke.

Quirin offered a short laugh. "Yeah?" He maneuvered over to the table and put the dish on each of the plates as Varian ventured into the kitchen to put away the extra set of utensils, virtually swapping places. " _Why_ , exactly?"

Varian arched a brow and leered at him, causing Quirin to look down and to his side at the thing protruding by the side of the table. "Oh."

His son began laughing at his expression, which was, apparently, the funniest thing he's seen all day.

"Alright, alright," he couldn't help but smile warmly, "I'll start moving it tomorrow."

"Thanks, dad," he smiled back, moving back towards the dining room and sitting in his chair.

When he sat in his chair, he could smell whatever dish was on his plate, and the stew - made of carrots, potatoes, mushrooms, peppers (for a little kick) and beans, plus some beef - smelt great. The vegetables were picked by him and his father, but the beef was gotten by his father - he's too squeamish to even think about doing something like that to an animal, or anything, at all - and, he knew from experience, that everything tastes better when you work for it.

He reached over for his silverware and smiled at his father, "Looks amazing, dad."

Quirin smiled and they ate in silence for a while, before Varian got an idea.

Originally, he had tried to talk with his mouth full, but dad reminded him that it's rude to talk while your mouth is full. He quickly swallowed and began again.

"So, I was thinking if I could go to the capital and talk to Rapunzel?" Quirin hummed questioningly. Varian straightened, "Oh, I, uh," he tried to make up an excuse, "We're… We're…. discussing plans! To- For a thing she wants me to make." Yeah, sure, that'll work.

Quirin’s face fell. "Varian, you don't need an excuse to hang out with the princess and her friends. I know you look up to all of them." A grin slid back on his face, "I'm going up to the capital today to talk to the king about these… things," he gestured to the black thing to his left, "If you want to come…?"

 _That_ got Varian to perk up. "What? You- You mean it?"

He nodded.

"Ohh, yes, yes!" He jumped out of his seat and hugged his dad, smiling brightly. "Thank you!"

Quirin chuckled, "Alright, alright. Finish your dinner and go to bed, and when you wake, we'll start heading towards the capital."

Varian raised a finger in question, but Quirin already had an answer along with a chuckle, "Yes, yes, you can make ham sandwiches." Varian smiled sheepishly. " _In the morning_ ," he raised his brow at him, knowing he'd want to make them now.

Varian scoffed playfully, "Okay, alright, fine, I see," he quickly scarfed down the rest of his food, "Good night, dad!"

Quirin laughed fondly as his son rushed up the stairs to his room. "Good night, son."

-

Varian awoke in the morning and they got ready, Varian making his favorite snack, ham sandwiches, and his father preparing the horses for the trip.

They were able to set out fairly soon, the sun prime in the horizon, a sweet orange leaking into the cold, blue sky, clouds swirling in the air. A calm breeze makes it's way past them, and Varian breathes it in. Today was going to be a good day.

They made it to the capital, the sun now glaring at them from above their heads, and paused for a little lunch break. They ate the sandwiches and moved in, waiting in line for an audience with the king.

"Okay, dad, what's our strategy?" Varian asked from behind his father. "I mean, I tried to get a sample of the rocks to show the king but they just won't cut…" He turned around, raising his hand to his face in a thinking motion, ready to start rambling ideas and how they could possibly explain this to the king, but was stopped before he could even start.

"Son, wait here while I speak to the king."

His eyes widened for a moment. "Dad, I think I should go in there to help explain the scientific quanti-" his voice faded as he was spoken over again.

"Varian-" Quirin sighs out his nose, "Children have no place in court."

"But I- I'm not a…" He shut himself up as his father began to walk away from him.

He had to move to get a better vantage point.

He paused to look for a way to go before his feet began to move. He found another door, one to the side of the courtroom, and opened it slightly so he could peak his head through.

"Yes, it would appear this year's harvest has proven quite bountiful," he hears his dad say, and his eyes widen more. "So much so that I humbly request more land to accommodate such bounty."

" _What?_ " He says, stunned. That wasn't right at all - they barely had enough resources for dinner last night.

He watched as skepticism spread across the jury's faces, the king, his advisor, and his daughter, and then, something lighter fell upon the king's features. And he accepted.

This confused Varian, and apparently, the advisor and Rapunzel too.

His father passed by him, leaving the room from the door Varian was hiding in.

"Dad," he called in a hushed voice, rushing past and stopping in front of him. "None of that was true! Wh- Old Corona's been _destroyed_! Y-"

"Old Corona will endure, you'll have to trust that I can handle this," His father's voice rose dangerously, but Varian didn't listen, his father trying to pass him again.

"H- How! How?" He pleaded, "How can I- _trust anything_ when my own father just lied to the king's _face?_ "

Suddenly, his dad - no, Quirin - was looming over him with a scowl. "That is _enough, Varian._ "

Varian paused in place, startled nearly to death, too scared to even breathe.

"Ah," He breathed in shakily, releasing it when he spoke again, "Yes, sir."

His father finally moved past him, walking down to leave the hall. Varian stayed still, a chilling terror keeping him in place - that, that was the worst one yet - his eyes glued to the floor as Rapunzel creeped out the door.

"Varian?" She put a concerned hand on his shoulder, "Is everything okay?"

"No!" He breaks, snapping away from the sudden touch. "No, it's not." He paused, regaining his composure.

Taking a breath, he turned to the princess. "Rapunzel, we came to see your dad about the rocks in Old Corona."

"Yeah, but your dad just said-"

"My dad _lied_ ," he admits, "Things have gotten worse."

The princess frowned. "How much worse?" She asked, her voice soft and careful.

Varian turned away, his eyes looking distant. He closed them as if they were burning, a grimace pulling at his features. Finally, he opens his eyes again. " _A lot worse._ "

Rapunzel straightened. "Don't worry, Varian," she stepped in front of him and bent down, reaching for his shoulder again. "I haven't forgotten about our agreement, we're going to figure out how to stop these rocks, together. Just, give me until my father returns, everything is going to be okay." Her smile grew once more, "I _promise_."

Finally, he looks up and offers her a smile as well. She takes it gracefully.

It falters down to a slight frown.

"Rapunzel, we need to talk." He said, trying to keep his voice steady enough. " _Privately_."

She looked at him, uncertain for a moment, and then her face molded into something serious. "Okay."

-

The two went to a different room, away from the public eye, as Varian had suggested. It was dim as they entered. But the princess lit up the room with the candles on the wall.

He waited anxiously as she did so, never looking away from the floor.

"What's up, Varian?" The princess’ voice jolts him from his thoughts.

"Oh, ha- right..." He found himself dreading the conversation, not knowing how exactly to say what he wants to say.

He took a breath in, and began. "Okay, uh, so," his words jumbled over each other. He cleared his throat, "I touched one of the rocks… yesterday."

Rapunzel looked at him, slightly confused.

" _Rapunzel_ ," he frowned at her, still trying to process the oncoming information. "It _reacted_ to me," He finished with a shudder.

Her eyes widen. "What? But how is that-"

"I don't know!" He yells back honestly, his hands shaking. "Things have been different, ever since we met," He pauses, realizing that it probably sounds like he's blaming her. "I- I'm not saying it's your fault, but," he cuts himself off as he meets her eyes once again. He glances away. "I don't know."

The princess stays quiet, likely processing the information.

"Varian," she hesitates, "How badly did it react?"

Varian thought for a moment. _Right, the rocks go crazy when Rapunzel comes in contact with them, but_ \- "They barely reacted, that I know of." He shrugged, "It only grew about, say, an inch? And it glowed." He finished, "It protruded into my dining room approximately an hour before dinner when we were picking ingredients."

Rapunzel hummed in thought.

"Do you think-" she stopped herself, "No, that's ridiculous, right?"

Varian looked at her, seemingly knowing what she meant, and his shoulders fell.

"I don't know, princess. _Something_ in me is reacting directly to you… I don't know, I'd have to-… I don't know." He fell frustratingly short on answers.

"…Is there anything else you've noticed recently?" She asked after a moment of silence.

Varian bit his lip, deciding if he should say. He sighs, if she's going to help, then she has to know everything. "Okay, alright, um-" he breathed in, steadying his voice. "Ever since you left my lab, every time we're apart I feel-" Frustration shook his body. The feeling he gets when they are apart feels _terrible_. "God, I feel so empty!" He snapped forward, "I feel so weird, and - and, and cold. I hate it, I hate it _so much_ , but when I'm with you, I-"

He frowned, guilt tugging at his heart for lashing out. Rapunzel seems confused, and sad, but intent and listening. He breathed, because the stars know he needs to calm down.

"Something changes." He turns his back away with a chill rolling up his spine. "It's like I-" He turned his head back and breathed through his nose again. "I can't feel _whole_ without your presence, and the farther away I get, the worse I feel. I- I don't know what's happening," he looked away again, "And that scares me. I-I'm scared."

"Hey," Rapunzel said calmly, pulling herself in front of Varian, placing her hand once more on his shoulder and cupped his cheek with the other. If Varian squinted, he could even fool himself that it was his mom comforting him and not Rapunzel. "I'm sorry you feel this way, Varian, but I promise you, we will get through this. In fact," Her lips grew a smirk, "If you _ever_ need help, I will be here, in the castle, for you."

This forces Varian to smile, unable to hold it back. It's strange how bright she is, even her smile. The embodiment of the sun.

"Alright, al- alright," he laughs, gently pushing her hands away from him and backing away. "Thank you, princess, this means… _so much_ to me. _Thank you._ " He smiled, happy to have someone listen for once.

She laughed as well. "Alright, you have to head back home now, right?"

Varian suddenly perked up in realization, causing her to bite down another laugh. " _Oh-!_ " He rushed across to the door and ran out, yelling another quick _Thank you!_ and ran back down the hall as she allowed herself to finally laugh, giggling at his antics.

-

Varian had left, and that empty feeling settled in his stomach once again, but it was stifled at the memory of what Rapunzel had promised him.

He'll be okay, and if he weren't, if anything were to go wrong, he'd have Rapunzel to lean on.

He left, feeling a little better than before.

-

Varian had watched his father bring the townsfolk the news, watched him give half-truths, from his house window. He pushed himself from the sill and got to work.

-

"Never give up, Ruddiger." He says to his racoon, though it felt like it was more to himself than the mammal. "So, our last formula didn't deliver quite the reaction we'd hoped," he poured chemicals into a beaker and stirred, then pausing to take a look at the neon yellow concoction in the glass. He heard Ruddiger chitter, and he smirked.

"So _what_ , the important thing is, that we _got_ ," Varian maneuvered to the pile of black spikes next to him, them glowing faintly at his presence, and he began to tip the glass in its direction, "A _reaction_ \--"

Unexpectedly, the door opened, and his father called. "Son," he began, "I just wanted to--"

Ruddiger hid behind the desk he was just on.

"Oh, oh!" Varian jumped, quickly moving - to do something, hide the beaker, the rocks, something - and the contents of the flask spilt across the inky black stones as he turned to face his father.

"Varian, I _told you_ ," he began to approach.

"Um- yeah, okay, y- I-I-- I know what you said, but, dad I-I--"

"Then there should be _no misunderstanding!_ " Quirin’s voice rose in volume. He pulled Varian away from the rocks, their glow never fading even while he was forced away. "Now, listen to me when I-"

Varian's face was riddled with irritation. "No!" He yelled, pushing his dad back. "No, you listen to _me_ , dad. Our village is _dying_!" He points outside the window where the people were earlier today. "You think running away from the problem is going to fix it? No; these rocks aren't going away!"

"I _know_ , Varian, but there is more to them than you could possibly imagine," Quirin fought back.

_None of them could hear the solution bubbling._

"Then why won't you tell me?" Varian cries helplessly. "Dad! _Please_ , I des- I _deserve to know_ ," he pleads finally.

_No one can hear it crystallizing behind him._

Varian watches his dad slip off his glove, his back turned to his son. He is looking at it, if only briefly, before clenching his fist.

_Even in the silence, they don't pay attention._

"I am sorry, son. You are not ready," he says in finality, before turning to see his boy.

His eyes go wide. "Varian, watch out!" He runs forwards and knocks him out of the way, throwing his body to the floor.

Varian clenched his teeth as he rolled back on the floor. He landed on his hands and pushed himself up, gasping as he saw what his father was protecting him from.

His dad was being consumed by a terrifyingly quickly growing yellow-orange amber.

"Oh! Dad- dad!" He yelled as he forced himself off the ground, running towards his father and the alchemical crystals. "Oh, hold on, h-hold on, dad, I'll- I'll get you out!"

"No!" Quirin stops him as he's about to reach for the amber and try to pry it away from him, holding his hand out in warning. "Stay back."

It took everything Varian had not to start hyperventilating right there. "I'm g- I'm gonna go get help!" He yelled and made a break for the door before his dad could even respond.

"No, son, don't!" He can hear his father calling him, but he doesn't listen.

He grabbed a coat and ran - ran as fast as he could.

Tiny black rocks develop in his wake.


	2. Under Wraps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A promise broken, a plan executed and an escape made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't had a human connection in so long that the comments left on the first chapter made me smile probably a bit too wide - thank you!! It means a lot <3
> 
> The title is definitely based off Under Raps, but I felt like it fit
> 
> Warning: food, poisoning (just truth serum), injury (from being handled roughly kdjdh), and guard brutality because they're assholes

"Rapunzel!" He yelled frantically, as the guards roughly dragged him out of the hallway. "Rapunzel!" He called once more. "You promised," he spoke, tears burning at his eyes, his voice shrouded in disbelief. _She broke her promise._ "You promised!" His voice raised in anger and desperation, causing a haunting echo to echo down the hallways and throughout the castles wall. It felt like the entire castle could hear his shrill cries.

Varian was then shoved through a door to the outside, into the blizzard from whence he came, his back pressed against the unforgiving snow. He crawled onto his hands, grasping for them, wanting to scream. _Stop, stop - wait, you don't understand - I came for help \- I wouldn't have came if it wasn't important, just_ \- "Wait!"

He was too late, the door slamming in his face, causing Varian to stare in disbelief for a moment before breaking into an anger filled sob, curling into himself.

He stopped himself before he could begin to full-on cry, to release the tears that had been threatening to fall. He can't - not yet; not when his father is in danger.

He steadies himself, suddenly up on his feet again, and runs somehow even faster than before, the castle looming over him, as if giving him the cold shoulder.

-

Varian ignored the glow of the array of rocks around the entrance as he passed and ran up the stairs; the rocks were glowing brighter than usual. He called for his dad as he burst through the door.

He threw the door closed behind him. "Dad! Dad, the princess refused to help, but I--"

His shoulders went slack, suddenly feeling faint at the sight. "... _Dad_? He called out, painfully weak, his throat tightening.

"Oh, no," he whispers to himself - who else could he be saying it to? - and rushed towards the now unmoving crystal, the orange-yellow entrapped in his mind, burned into his retinas like the sun on a sweltering summer day.

"No, no-" he repeats, over and over again, being the only word he could say. He beat the amber helplessly with his fists, as if it would break his father out - "Dad!" He wept loudly, his voice breaking. " _Daddy_ \- No!"

Varian put his hands up to where his father's face was, suddenly wanting nothing more in the world than to hug him tight and never let go. Tears began to swim down his cheeks, ones he hadn't realized has started to pour until now. And in this moment, he doesn't care.

He sinks to the floor and cries.

-

"Princess, I never said the Demanitus Device was real for _sure_ ," Xavier spoke, shuffling things around on the shelf to reach a scroll.

"I know, Xavier, but every legend is born of truth, right?" Rapunzel watched the blacksmith closely, "What if Zhan Tiri's curse is real, and the storm will not let up until Corona is destroyed? Even an _evacuation_ won't help then."

He was stuffing things into a satchel, the straps firm as it rested on his shoulder.

" _Please_ ," she begged. "If the legend is true, where would the Demanitus Device be?"

Xavier hummed in thought as he reached a stick into the blazing fire. He pulled back with a grin. "I have an idea."

-

Varian kept crying. Crying, _crying_ without anyone there to listen.

He cried, even as the raging blizzard going on in the outside slowed to a stop, he kept going, a bitter thought rising at the occurrence.

_Corona's problem is solved, and I'm left without a father._

_At least one of us was lucky._

It felt like hours; it felt like weeks, only beginning to stop when the ache behind his eyes grew too much and he ran out of water to cry.

Varian could practically feel it - the magic in the air. It must have been whatever sent the storm away... _or what brought it here_ , something in the back of his mind whispered. _Maybe both._

-

"Eugene, today I turned my back on a desperate friend in need," and, amongst other things, it felt like the worst one yet. The other problems were solved - the storm is gone, the Demanitus Device was real, Pascal is alive, her parents and the man she loved was alive - but something about the way Varian had pleaded with her - begged her - to help.

Eugene frowned thoughtfully, carefully sitting on the windowsill next to her and grabbing her hands. A warm smile spread across his face. "I'm sure he'll be fine, Sunshine, besides," he planted a soft kiss on her forehead, "if the kid needs help, he can always come to you and ask for it again."

Something in Rapunzel agreed - although, hadn't he already done that? And she had already pushed him away - what kind of friend _was_ she?

But maybe Varian's problem got solved, too. Maybe he got just as lucky as the rest of them

-

He wasn't lucky at all.

He laid there, hunched over on the floor, his tears wet with tears he no longer had anything to cry with.

"Don't worry, dad," he breathed in shakily, "I will get to the bottom of this."

He clenched his fist. " _I promise._ " A promise he'd never dare break.

He promised, he _swore_ , he would save his father. Whatever it might take.

Now he was standing, proclaiming - he couldn't tell who he was talking to, himself or to his father, but it didn't matter anymore - that he will make him proud.

That Corona will pay, that he _will_ get answers - no matter what.

They will pay, and pay dearly they shall.

A large group of black rocks sprouted, bigger than ever before, glowing wildly as they fed off his sorrow, his anger, his boiling rage no longer content to sit on the backburner any longer.

 _Yes,_ they seemed to whisper, _Corona will fall._

The cold buzz rang through his ears, and he scowled.

-

_"Has anyone been to Old Corona recently?"_

-

Masked guards burst through every door, a sudden calamity in the usually silent house, now with only one inhabitant living within its walls, who worked constantly in the lab without break until he passes out.

He regretted this now, too tired to fight any of them off effectively. And when he tried, he'd found his head roughly slammed into the ground as he was tackled before he could reach his alchemical stand.

"Hey," one of them barked, chiding the one holding Varian down. He refused to struggle, he knew it would get him nowhere. "Be careful, he's just a kid."

Varian immediately recognized the voice. "Captain?" He muttered, too weak and wavering for his taste, and the one who previously spoke stilled.

He muttered a curse under his breath before responding. "Varian," he began, "You are under house arrest." He motioned for the guard to get up off him. He did, however, he held Varian close, holding his hands behind his back, a firm grip telling him _you can't fight me, kid._ And Varian listened.

Varian's eyes widened, "What? Why? I-I haven't done-"

"You attacked the princess," He said sternly. " _This is a light punishment_."

"But - But I didn't-"

"King's orders, kid," the captain of the guard cuts him off in an almost apologetic tone, "Sorry, but we can't disobey a direct order."

"I see," he said, a dirty look ran across his face.

A noise came from a few feet away, calling their attention. The cloth, formerly hiding _it_ , fell to the ground, and the guards gasped.

There, petrified in amber - that same, _sickening_ gold - his father.

Varian's eyes widened a noticeable amount, and yanked out of the guard's grip, suddenly having the energy to so, in order to pick up the sheet and throw it back over his father.

He began to crumble, his knees suddenly feeling weak, and fell in front of his father, tugging on the cloth with a silent sob.

No one did dare speak, holding their breaths even as the captain came up behind Varian cautiously. "Kid-"

He steeled himself and the kid's head jolted up, his brows furrowing. His head then snapped at him, an resentful look in his eyes and a furious frown on his lips.

The guard backed away, and none of them bothered him for the rest of the day, content to watch him warily from the corners of his lab.

Varian knew they were looking for something. He had caught them scrounging around his house and lab and everywhere else - this was a search, under the guise of a house arrest. And Varian was determined to find it first.

-

_"I'm worried that Varian is in trouble."_

-

Something caught in his peripheral - a lone vial, floating down the stream. It clinked against the shore and he raised a brow. "Wow," he grinned, picking it up and examining it, "What do we have here?"

The bottle felt heavy in his hands. A design danced around its neck, its body pulled into a heart shape. A purple liquid sloshed inside - _just a drop, but it'll be enough._

That grin grew into a smirk, and he stuffed the thing into the basket he was carrying on his forearm, which he was supposed to be using to be finding food - nuts, berries, anything - as he had told the guards. And he was, until this thing came along. And, well, they left him out of eyeshot for a little bit too long.

"Let's see what we can do with you, hm?"

He heads back off into the direction of his home, a plan developing in his mind.

-

"What are you doing, kid," a gruff voice rose behind him, and he rolled his eyes.

"Alchemy," he gave, short and definitely not sweet.

Varian could practically feel the annoyance radiating from the guard. He smirked.

"You know what I mean, boy."

"Well, I think you wouldn't know what _I_ mean if I actually explained it to you - I mean, I assume your IQ is pretty low, so…" he stirred his concoction with a metal rod, "But that's not saying anything," his voice went low and dangerous, scoffing, "For a guard."

He flashed a brief glare in his direction, and forced down a smile at the man's, assumed, face. Thinking of him, angry and seething, almost made him laugh.

His arm suddenly yanked back, a vice-like grip on his wrist and up his forearm. It twisted a tad bit unnaturally, practically almost pulling it from its socket.

Suddenly, it wasn't so funny anymore.

The man said nothing, breathing hard. Oh, he was angry, alright. Varian huffed silently, now staring him in the eye holes of his helmet.

Varian wrenched his hand out of the man's grasp after a moment in the standstill, hesitating if only for a moment before getting back to work.

While he's at it... might as well make this asshole pay as well.

 _Perfect_ , he thought, _A volunteer._

-

The click of a lock rang out through the room, and a low groan came from the middle of the room.

"Finally, you're awake," Varian grinned, turning to look at his guest. "Good morning."

The man looked blearily at the boy. His helmet was no longer concealing his face, now thrown haphazardly on the nearby floor.

"Wha- kid," he began, but silenced at the dirty look Varian shot at him.

"Hey," he was suddenly smiling again, kneeling down in front of the man. It was slightly amusing, how easy it was to knock him out with a swift blow from his staff to the head. He was just lucky that they, at the very minimum, gave him privacy in his bedroom. It gave him a place to do this. "I hope you were hungry, I gave you a little snack while you were out."

His eyes focused on a couple of purple cookies on the bed on the edge of which he was tied to - he's an alchemist, right, so that means he probably laced them–

"Mind telling me why you're _really_ here?"

"I– I don't know what you're talking about." He struggled against something, pushing him to spill everything. He held his breath, but he could only hold it for so long. "We're looking for something, something your father had, because we can't let the princess get her hands on it–"

This prompted a short laugh. "I was right, then." He smirked. "I guess I'll just have to beat you all to it - shouldn't be all that hard, considering." He worked on removing his bonds, just some cloth he'd found and wrapped his hands together to a leg of the bed.

Varian stood up and dusted himself off. He turned to the man one last time. "Oh, do tell me when the serum wears off?" A smiled, sickeningly sweet and dripping with poison, and left the room.

A poor choice, the guard thought, but it was simply all part of the plan.

Varian hid, and after a short moment, he could hear the man scramble out of the room and down the opposite end of the hallway. He bit down on his lip to silence a laugh at how clumsy and frantic he looked, and began to search.

-

_"Princess, Varian is dangerous!"_

-

He found himself in Quirin’s room. He didn't think he'd find anything here, but he had to look _everywhere_.

Dust lined the room, deep-set from months of being untouched.

Varian never went in his room, even after his father's entrapment.

His eyes landed on an old photo, smaller than the one in their living room, enough to fit in his hand. The frame was a light weight in his hands, a dark and intricately carved wood.

He figured mother carved it - he was told she had a delicate hand.

Behind the glass shield lay a picture, still crisp at the edges, of three people. A lady with ginger locks, and big round blue eyes like his. There on her shoulder was a little kid, smiling ear-to-ear, a set of buck teeth protruding out. His father stood by her side, holding his mother's waist with one arm. He was smiling as well.

Varian found himself smiling along, a sort of sad and almost nostalgic feeling tugging at the corners of his lips.

He stared at it longingly for a moment longer before stuffing it in the very bottom of the satchel resting at his hips.

Then, something caught his eye. He creeped over and dragged the thing out from under his father's bed. He brushed all the dust off and analyzed it - a chest?

The locks open with a soft click and the lid opens with a creak. Inside was a suit of armor, the helmet branded with a circle, three lines cutting through. His gloved hand itched at the sight, and immediately dropped it.

On the inside, something glinted. His eyes widened ever-so slightly and he bent down to pick it up.

He opened it curiously, and it seemed important enough. The scroll was ripped at the edges. "I take it this is what they came here for." He looked around the room cautiously. "I've probably only got a short amount of time for me to translate this thing."

-

"Varian," a stern voice called for his attention, and he gave it.

Just a few minutes ago, he had been called over by the captain, just in time for Varian to have finished translating the scroll. It hadn't taken that much time. He even had time to hide it.

"Captain," he responded with a smile that betrayed his eyes.

The man breathed out from his nose. "What you did was unacceptable."

"Well clearly we see differently," Varian folded his arms casually, "He was a jerk. In my opinion, he deserved it."

Before he could start again, Varian continued. "You know what I think is unacceptable?" He stood up straight and smirked. "Lying."

The captains widened just enough for Varian to notice. "You see, I actually found what you came here for - and I only started looking today!" His smile was wide in mockery. "How long have y'all been here? A month? That's... kind of embarrassing, don't you think?"

The man's brow furrowed. "Varian, you kidnapped a guard and poisoned him."

"Oh, trust me, I know!" He tapped his foot on the hardwood floor. "So what are you going to do about it? Take me to the capital, throw me in a cell?

The guard went silent. Varian grinned further.

"Oh, that's right, _you can't_. Because..." he traced his fingers around the chair next to him, picking up the dust and rubbing it between his fingers. "You don't want me going to the capital, huh?"

"That's not-"

"Oh, but I think it is." Varian sighed deeply, almost regretful. "So that's why I have to force my way in." He shot the man a quick smile before he could catch on. He bolted through the door and could hear the captain barking orders to "Stop him!" as he was already halfway down the hallway.

He made a sharp turn, back into his dad's room, and snatched a lantern he hid underneath the bed near the chest he'd shoved back and ran right back out towards his lab.

He sped down the stairs, careful not to trip. Guards immediately perked up at the sudden entrance, the doors slamming behind the boy.

Varian ignored them, speeding by and snatching a rolled up piece of paper from his desk. He tied it to a string hanging from the lantern and booked it to the door, the guards now making their approach. He didn't care, forcing the door open and letting go. The boy watched it for a moment and smiled, genuinely, for the first time today. Be was going to get _help_.

The moment didn't last long, being tackled down to the floor by a nameless guard. His cheek hit the ground roughly, and he squeezed his eyes shut. _That_ was going to leave a bruise. The other guards gathered around and watched the light fly into the grey afternoon sky, a silence falling over them.

They have to prepare for a new arrival.

-

Varian hated the new rules.

Constant watching - a neverending feeling of eyes on him - no alchemy, no going out, the guards have to cook his food for him - and, personally, none of them are good cooks, but okay enough for consumption.

It wouldn't matter, in the end - he wasn't going to be there much longer.

He snuck quietly to the front door, feeling where a pair of eyes found him. They quickly stopped him, reaching tear him away from the door.

Varian started before he could be touched, sprinting out the door. He kept running and running, even as the sound of voices faded away. He kept running until he made it over the bridge and into a more populated area. It probably took an hour or two, considering his house was all the way at the edge of Old Corona.

-

_"Sorry, dad. We gotta go to Old Corona."_

-

A chattering caught his attention, and he pushed himself off the wall he was leaning against to try and catch his breath. His joints creaked in objection.

A grey blur bolted over to him, throwing itself into his arms. Varian caught it, stopping it in its tracks. He immediately recognized it.

"Ruddiger?" He smiled happily, relief dripping into his voice. The raccoon chattered enthusiastically, earning himself a hug. Suddenly, nothing else mattered. It was just a boy and his raccoon, happily reuniting after Ruddiger had been shooed off by the guards when he had hissed at and tried to attack the captain.

As it turns out, Ruddiger had stayed near the house, watching over his boy.

Varian's limbs gave out and he fell to his knees, hugging his friend harder. His eyes heated up, and he could tell he was going to cry. He knew Ruddiger wouldn't mind, so he allowed them to slip out. If Ruddiger noticed his fur dampening, he didn't acknowledge it, simply letting him cry, whirring worriedly. Varian pulled away and stared into the animal's beady eyes, searching for something. But there was absolutely no judgement in those eyes, just a genuine look of concern.

Ruddiger reached his paws out and grabbed Varian's cheeks, pulling him closer until their noses met. His cold and wet nose made Varian jump a little, his eyes widening before breaking into a watery laugh.

The raccoon looked satisfied by this and let go, seeming to smile at the sound of laughter. It was the first time he had heard him laugh in a long time.

"Alright, buddy," Varian sniffled, placing Ruddiger down on the ground. He bounded onto his spot on his shoulder, cooing softly in his ear. "We need to get to the capital, but," he slumped slightly, "I'm tired. So, uh, let's just-" he stepped back and fell against the wall, then began to slip to the floor. "Rest.. for a while..." His eyes slid closed, and just like that, he was out.

Ruddiger curled in on himself on his boy's chest, keeping an anxious eye open in case of trouble.

-  
_"I'm sorry, Eugene, but I've already let Varian down once."_

-  
Rapunzel pulled the cloth down, revealing Quirin’s prison. She gasped, dragging her hands up to her lips to stop a sob. "Oh, no- It's Varian's father," she whispered, her voice shaky.

"Blondie, are you okay?" Eugene asked, both him and Cass hovering behind her.

"Maybe you were right," she admitted, "Maybe my dream was telling me to stay in the castle... where I belong."

Cassandra raised a brow. "What are you talking about?"

"I touched those rocks, and now," she paused, " _This_."

Eugene comforted her, and then an unwanted guest ran through the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ruddiger is best boy <3
> 
> Not me having to add a warning for graphic violence for things in later chapters.... no sir


	3. And You'll Say That You Don't Wanna See The Sun Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revenge is all that's left when the hope dies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is from When It Rains (If It's Not With You) by Dodie
> 
> After this chapter I'm able to diverge from canon a lot more.. :)
> 
> Warning: canon-typical violence, mentions of death and the death sentence, injury and some asshole kicks Varian
> 
> I also may or may not make a Dear Evan Hansen reference, but it's a blink and you'll miss it kind of thing
> 
> OKAY sorry for that but I forgot to close ONE ITALIC and suddenly the entire story is emphasized -

The next thing he knew, he was being roughly kicked awake.

It felt like he had been hit all over, his body aching wildly.

"Hey, wizard!" Another jab to his arm. His eyes opened and he rolled away on the ground, and a heavy-weighted boot slammed down where his head was only seconds ago. This person almost just stomped his head in - He shuddered at the thought. "Good, you're awake, now get away from my shop already, or else I'll call the authorities!" The cranky middle-aged woman yelled as he stood up on his two feet.

He most definitely did not want the guard coming and finding him - after he evaded house arrest? He'd be as good as dead meat. Varian grabbed his hissing raccoon and made a run for it, out into another hidden corner of the streets. He allowed himself to breathe for a moment, running a gloved hand through Ruddiger's pelt. "It's okay, buddy," He whispered, both to himself and his angry pet. Eventually his hair fell back against his pelt, now looking at his boy, that same concerned look.

"Oh, I-I'm alright, bud." He offered a reassuring smile. "We have to get to the capital."

Ruddiger ran up his arm and found his place on Varian's shoulder, the familiar weight causing him to grin, more real than before, and set off. However, he was stopped short at what he saw around the street corner.

There, on the side of a building, was a tan paper with deep black lettering, and a sketch of a face. His face, he realized, eyes widening at the sight. He scoffed a laugh, "What? I haven't even done anything yet -" _You attacked the princess_ , the captain's words echoed in his head. "Right," He says shortly, taking the paper and rubbing the edge with his thumb and index.

Still, why were they even up in the first place? Surely Rapunzel wouldn't allow this if she knew, because she still thought he was her friend, right?

"Keyword: yet." He stuffed it into the satchel as well. His hand brushed against the wood picture frame, and he rubbed it absentmindedly, feeling the grooves from the rough carving.

He contemplated taking off his glove to get a better feel, but the thought made his hand itch. He shoved the idea down and moved on.

-

The princess sat in the boat alone near the docks

Ruddiger seemed to have his own plan, already rushing to greet the princess, probably just happy to see Rapunzel. Varian couldn't help but smile at his antics, but he shoved it down. It was now or never.

He jumped into the boat and covered her mouth, shushing her, hoping for her not to scream bloody murder. He allowed his grip to loosen and watched her turn towards him, her eyes broadening.

"Oh, Varian!" She exclaimed in a hushed voice and gave him a big hug. He had to force his body not to go stiff at the show of affection, his left hand twitching. His face was a whirl of emotions. She was warm, making him want to sink into the hug and wrap his arms around her; he was cold, an icy whisper of _betrayal_ brushing up against his ear. "Where have you been?" She pulled back and he was smiling again, but it didn't meet his eyes. She didn't seem to have noticed, however, probably too happy to see him; to see him okay. Something about that unsettled him. "I-I've been so worried about you."

"Yeah, uh-" he grit his teeth, "I've had to lie low." He plastered on a smile - it was technically the truth. He reached out his hands and Ruddiger eagerly jumped in them. "A f- A funny thing: the people of Corona aren't, uh, too keen on guys who attack their princess," Varian chuckled. He could still feel the dull aching from earlier that day throughout his body.

"Attack me?" She looked surprised. So she hadn't known about the rumor. "You- You mean during the storm? You came for help."

Varian cringed momentarily. "And you got to see _why_ I needed your help," he said, assuming she must've seen.

She gasped at this, seemingly remembering. Then she began to sappily apologise, but it was slightly uncomfortable on his end - he stopped her, "You had to save a kingdom. You did what you had to." - slightly was an understatement. - "But you can help me _now_ , Rapunzel. Do you have the scroll?"

"The scroll!" She jumped, reaching into her dress and dragging out the graphtyc, handing it to him.

He exhaled as he opened it. "Now, it took me a while to translate this old language, but from what I can tell, those black rocks are actually some kind of - of ancient darkness." And they reacted to him, right? Did that mean he was connected to them somehow? He allowed his thoughts to wander momentarily before shutting them completely out. "It's destructive power can only be stopped by its counterpart..." The boy looked up from the scroll to Rapunzel, "The Sundrop."

"Rapunzel, the fl- the flower!"

"You mean _the_ flower?" She asked, and he could tell she was unsure. "The one that healed my mom and gave me my hair? But... my dad said it was long gone."

Of course he did, he relented, beginning to hate the king more and more as time passed.

He paused, as if in thought, but he knew exactly which card to play. After learning of her father spreading rumors about her 'friend' and the black rocks, and literally everything else, it shouldn't be too hard to come to his side, now.

"Would you say your dad has been really a reliable source of information?"

She hesitated, and he persisted.

"No! Rapunzel, no! It's still here, I'm sure of it. Your dad wouldn't just _throw away_ something that could wield _that kind_ of power! A single pedal from that flower could solve _all_ our problems - that's all we need!" He was practically begging, now. There was no way he could ever get into the vault without her help, and maybe he was getting a little desperate, but she was a vital asset to this plan and he needed her if he had _any_ chance of making it through this thing, and, hopefully, with all limbs attached.

Thankfully, she agreed. For Corona. It always seemed to be for Corona - he knew where her loyalties lie, and, personally, he was sick of it. But he has to pull through - _for dad._

They climbed out of the boat and set off towards the castle.

A huge black rock shot up and spiked through the boat, causing it to sink. None of them noticed, too busy contemplating what was to come. It glowed a threateningly low blue, humming in accompaniment.

-

The two continued on, after, surprisingly, not getting squished into one morbid pancake. For this, he was thankful for Pascal and his tiny body.

Maybe it was his fault that they got in that situation in the first place, and maybe he got a bit (a lot) cocky, but this plan was working out surprisingly well. Who knows, maybe they could still be friends after this? Technically, he wasn't wrong about The Sundrop being able to help the rocks, but he was just going to use it for something first... _Then_ the princess can have the flower. He wanted those damned rocks gone as much as she did.

Later down on the line, maybe he slipped up again, but it was a great opportunity to test Rapunzel's devotion to the task at hand. If given the benefit of the doubt, would she run? If alluded to that Corona may be in danger for the short-term, would she abandon the mission, the same one that would help everyone in the long-run? And, for a moment, he almost believed she would have. And maybe she still would, but he stopped the experimentation short before she could actually catch on and he would ruin this chance. This was more important than the princess' fidelity, no, this was about saving his dad; about saving Corona and his home ravaged by the black rocks. This was more important than some prissy princess who saw the light in everyone, and some unstable alchemist without a dad. People's lives were at stake, and he wouldn't allow any more to be taken.

He slipped up, again, but in a more literal sense - the floor gave out beneath him, and it was a miracle his staff caught on the walls. "Hold on!" He heard the princess call.

"Oh, _yeah_ , I'm- I'm not going anywhere," Varian said with a nervous chuckle, his arms straining from practically bring yanked down towards an inescapable hole of pitch-black dark nothingness...

Golden locks came into view and he immediately grabbed it with one hand, carefully dislodging the stick with the other. She pulled him up, and he half expected her to hug him again, but it never came. Had she felt how he tensed earlier? He hoped she hadn't, and if she did, that she just assumed he was simply surprised or something.

They continued on, and she assured him that they were getting closer. She opened a door, leading to a room under the vault containing the fabled Sundrop Flower.

Strange pillars protruded out of the ground.

It seemed Rapunzel did something - something to the pillars? - and the vault entrance opened with a loud creak. Good thing all the guards were _distracted_.

His body tensed as he heard the whir of machinery, the ground shaking with a heavy step. He turned around swiftly towards the source, because if his assumption was right -

A hulk of a machine stomped out from the shadows behind him, and, although thoroughly terrified, he was simply ecstatic.

"Uh, Varian?" He heard Rapunzel say, and he began to smile.

"Fascinating!" He yelled, "I believe this is an automaton, a-a - a _marvel_ of ancient technology, really, I-I've heard about them but just to _see one_ in person, just-" he hardly realized he was rambling, but was suddenly pulled out from his thoughts and out from a near-death experience. It reminded him all-too soon of his father pushing him out of the way. His skin crawled at the thought.

Slightly angry at this thought, he chased it away by attacking the metal beast with his alchemy, watching it explode in its face.

"See?" Varian turned to Rapunzel with a smile, "I told you, I got this."

She then tried to warn him about something, causing him to turn back towards the thing a little too late, only to be greeted by a bulky hand to the face and chest, sending him flying to a pillar. He fell to the ground with a groan, the bruises from his earlier beating pulsing with fresh pain. He'd have to check out his chest later, feeling it becoming hard to breathe. He really should take more breaks more often. Black spots danced his vision.

"Despite the excruciating pain and the fact that I am a _bout to pass out_ ," he shook the spots from his eyes, "The _science_ at work here is _spellbinding_!"

The princess helped pull him up, barely getting the chance to catch his footing before it came bounding towards them.

Rapunzel said something about a plan, and then ran out without elaborating on said plan.

Varian caught on as she called the thing towards her, smashing its hand into the column.

He tossed more alchemy to grab its attention, and began to run towards a separate post, to which Rapunzel responded by wrapping her now let-down hair around two poles in a straight line. It mechanically stepped through, causing them both to collapse on it. The green light faded and they both stared at it with bated breath. When it didn't move, they released a breath they hadn't known they'd been holding.

With no time to waste, the princess called to him and took the ladder down with her hair. As she climbed up, Varian peered back curiously at the automaton. He hummed thoughtfully at the sight of a music box and climbed up behind her.

-

He ran. He ran as fast as his scrawny little legs would let him, as if his life depended on it, in which it most likely did. After he'd just committed treason? They'd have him beheaded.

No, they couldn't; he wouldn't let them. Not while his father is trapped. They can do whatever they want to him afterwards, just, _please-_

He ran faster than even last night, because, now, he has everything to lose.

_I broke an order from my father, the king, because I trusted you!_

Tears threaten him yet again, but he threatens _them_ instead. _If just one drop leaves, so help me.._

_I promise you, I promise -_

His legs spasm from exertion, causing his knees to buckle and for him to fall to the floor. He clutched his staff like there was no tomorrow if he didn't.

_Just, this is.. not the way._

Silently, he wondered, when he would join mom.

_Please..._

He shot up from the ground and resumed his chase of something that was never even there in the first place.

No, he couldn't trust Rapunzel's promises, no matter how desperate and heartbroken she felt.

Because, no, she did not react appropriately to his heartache, so he shall not act as such to hers.

It was only fair she felt what he did - she disregarded an order from her father? Hah. Ironic. When she ignores a direct order, _he_ has to give up everything he's been working for, but when _he_ ignores a direct order, she doesn't give a single drop in return? She was making a mockery of him, asking for more than she's willing to give.

 _"For Corona"_ , she said it herself, while they were stealing the book.

Always, _always_ , even when he thought they were friends, that they could still _be_ friends. She used him for his intellect. He used her for her naivety.. This was only fair, right?

Then why did it hurt so much? Besides the physical injuries, he ached.

But he did not relent. He kept going, running and running, even as his limbs burn and his lungs scream desperately for him to stop. But he didn't, and he never did until he got home, pushing past a worried Ruddiger into his lab. It seemed the Masked Men had already left, a much needed relief at that moment. The alchemist sat down and immediately got to work, not even waiting for his heart to stop beating loudly in his ear, placing a pedal of the flower into a stone mortar, grabbing a pestle and grinding it into a paste. If he was lucky, he could turn the flower in and Rapunzel can use it for whatever she wants.

He made his way over to the drill, which he had made probably about two months ago, before the guard came to his home, in an early attempt to save his father after alchemy didn't work. And, now, of all things, he's relying on magic. He huffed at the idea with a slight disappointment that he couldn't use his own skills to free his father, and poured the paste onto the drill and turned it on. He pushed it into the amber, watching expectantly. When nothing came of it, the drill tip exploding, his eyes widened.

"No- no, _no_ ," he pushed the drill away, a fresh wave of disappointed anger washing over him, "This is useless!" He slammed his fists onto the desk.

It didn't work - nothing did. He was officially a traitor; he was a treasonous traitor and it didn't even matter.

"I-it's like it no longer holds The Sundrop's power..."

This caused him to think.

Rapunzel has golden hair, she has a connection with the rocks, and, for the stars' sakes, she was the embodiment of The Sundrop. How could he be so stupid? The Sundrop isn't the flower, it's - "Rapunzel," he grit his teeth, crushing the wilted flower in his palm - it was useless anyway - and let it slip out of his hands. He wiped it away to stare at the doodle of the princess

He scowled, unfortunately, knowing what must come next. Varian turned to his father, determination set into his face.

"Now, I have," he breathed in shakily, " _Nothing_.. left..." Varian's face hardened, a dark shadow falling over his expression once again. "...To lose."

As he sang, he stared up at his father. It didn't matter if he was proud anymore. He will get him out, _whatever it might take._

-

He didn't sleep a wink that night.

Building an army of practically indestructible metal machines wasn't exactly easy, and he had to worry about his alchemy supply and making more of that _goddamn_ amber solution, setting up where the queen would be, in the perfect position next to a mass of rocks... but he had to keep going; he was _right_. So what if he was the bad guy - anything for dad, right? And when he gets him out, he'll... No. He wouldn't be proud of this _mess_ he'd become, of his traitor of a son, but at least he'd be free, and he could actually think for himself; he would be able to _think_ in general. And whether he thinks poorly of his son, it will be his decision. Just, please, his father is innocent... He doesn't deserve to suffer because of Varian - because of his stupid son.

Varian pushed his thoughts away numbly, intercepting the gift carriers and placing his _own_ little present for the darling princess. He had to drag them away from the queen, to leave her unguarded, for an easy escape.

By nightfall, he made his move, throwing the smoke bombs, saying his speech, and sending the beast to attack. And while they were all distracted, he sent the queen to sleep and picked her up, running discreetly through the smoke to get her back towards his lab. Silently, he was glad for all the farmwork dad made him do, even if he was a little scrawny, he could carry his weight. Or, more rather, the queen's.

After chaining Arianna to the wall, he began building more and more automatons - he had to be sure it was enough - and filled up his alchemy capsules to the brim.

Of course, he expected Rapunzel's every move. The battle as a distraction, her and her father coming up from behind to do a sneak attack - today, he was a strategist, predicting every move, every choice - it boggled him how everything was running so smoothly, considering when he tries to do stuff for good it always seems to blow up in his face.

Maybe he was born to be evil. Maybe all this was a sign that he could never be good. Maybe the darkness was calling to him, and maybe he was listening all-too intently. It didn't matter now. He was the bad guy.

The black rocks glowed.

They were playing right into his hands.

He didn't care who he hurt, because he was hurting, and it hurts less when others hurt with you.

The queen had long-since woken up, watching him make his preparations. She tried to stop him, but he refused to listen.

He looked up at his father, who had looked down on him for years.

" _Ready as I'll ever be._ "

He knew they should be readying their assault on Old Corona now, and he was already finished on his side of things. Now he just had to wait. He snuck off to the side, and watched.

They creeped in and saw his doll, as expected, and watched as the king and princess grew confused. He set off a boobytrap, causing them to get stuck in their positions.

He cackled, emerging from the shadows. "Welcome back," he grinned " _Rapunzel_."

The automatons were already ambushing the army outside. He has the upper-hand.

He poured the amber solution across the black rocks protruding out near the queen at their incessant demands, and his breath hitched for a moment. "Well," he smiled wildly, walking away from the amber and dissolving the goo trap at Rapunzel's feet, "Shall we get started?"

-

"No, no!"

It didn't work.

"I wasn't wrong!"

The hair didn't work, it - everything he had planned, everything went well it was going so well please why did it fail he made no mistakes he...

"N- It's not my fault - none of it is!"

The royal family lovingly reuniting while he sobbed at his dad's prison.

"It's _her_ fault."

He ran - he was doing that a lot this past week, huh? - hopping into the huge automaton he made, one he could pilot from the inside.

_He wasn't wrong. He was right._

It didn't matter anymore, right or wrong, he didn't care. They'll get what's coming to them. They - they will pay.

He smashed through the house just as they made it outside, running from him - maybe the feeling of power was rushing to his head, but he's never felt this before. He was always Quirin's helpless little _kid_ , the little brat who could do nothing to defend himself from the townspeople's harsh words other than to smile and laugh it off awkwardly, or apologize helplessly, forced to submit because he was the town leader's son. Because mama was everything he was and more and he could never live up to his dad's expectations no matter how hard he tried.

So, no, they won't make him submit this time. He will _make_ them see.

Cassandra jumped at her, and Varian almost laughed. Really, Cassie, how did you ever think that would work?

"Hey, Cassie," he condisended deeply, " _Impressive_ , huh?"

He grabbed the queen as she tired to stop him, _verbally_ , I mean, could she really be that stupid? A little _"Oh, no, Varian, don't!"_ and he'll just give up? It was almost laughable.

"That's _enough_ , Varian." The princess spat her poison, making it's way into Varian's ears. It was ironic, the tone and the choice of words she chose, deliberately or not. It angered him, yet also sent a shiver down his spine.

Dad never even told him that he loved him anymore.

"No," he forced the machines hands to clench, "It'll never be enough - nothing will be, not until my father is free!"

He could hear their cries, but he didn't care.

The rocks encased the princess, and suddenly -

A bright light covered his senses, and before any of them knew it, she was controlling the rocks.

His eyes widened - no! What? How could she -

The robot flew backwards, his only saving grace the fact that he had held the controls in a vice-like grip.

The rocks started shifting, but he did not care, clutching the controls and sending the machine forwards, even as they tore apart all his hard work, leaving the automaton barely functional.

He reached towards Rapunzel, one last attempt, but a rock shot through that, too.

One shot through the heart of the machine, and suddenly he felt very hot, the adrenaline already wearing off. His bones ached and his body screamed at him, and he simply gave in. It hurt. Everything hurt, my stars, he put every last effort into this _thing_ only for it to blow up in his face, akin to how most of his inventions end up.

He lifted his fragile body off the ground, his arms shaking as he did so, and pleaded for the rocks to listen, listen to _him_ , because he was desperate and he needed help, but nothing came from it. He succumbed to the feeling of failure, like he had hundreds of times throughout his childhood, and dropped to the floor. He wanted to scream, and maybe he did, but his ears were ringing and his joints were throbbing so loud into his ears and he couldn't hear _anything_.

Every came crashing down, and it became hard to breathe. It was over, and now he was going to be going to jail. His childhood would be cut short and he will have no say in it - never did.

Surely, he'd be given death, for all his transgressions against the crown. A fitting answer for that question from earlier: he'd be seeing mama soon.

He was being hauled away by two guards, the same two guards who threw him out into a blizzard on that fateful night, and he flinched violently at their touch. They did not seem to hold this same sentiment, their faces carefully neutral as they picked him up by the biceps.

There seemed to be some sort of path, and he found himself wondering where it led. He shook the thought from his mind; he was never getting out of prison, anyway.

"I will make you proud of me, dad," he mumbled as they began to close the door, fresh handcuffs on his wrists, the mantra falling flat to his ears now that he's heard it so many times. Deep down, he knew he didn't care about that, but he needed something to hold on - a goal, something to give him drive. "If it's the last thing I _ever_ do."

Varian could absently feel Ruddiger's presence on his shoulders. He was silently glad he had stayed with him.

He'd have to apologize about the beast later.

A plethora of lanterns floated above his head, and his eyes stung with new tears.

Rapunzel had her way home, and he had already lost his a long time ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Varian never had a crush on Cass in this, he just looked up to her and wanted to impress her
> 
> Sorry for the kind of out of place lines about Varian's parents they're like that for a reason xoxo sorry I'm a dramatic bitch


	4. Clinging to the Shapes In the Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Air, judgement, nightmares and home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not adding Andrew to the character tags because I hate him with a burning passion
> 
> The title is from Constellations by The Oh Hellos
> 
> And there's some reference to Tower of Mistakes from Steven Universe because it felt accurate
> 
> Um.. enjoy :) also I relate to Varian so much that it's actually worrying. Me? Projecting? On Varian? No... no, I would never....
> 
> Warnings: stranglation, asphyxiation, injuries, blood, anxiety attacks, shitty hygiene (thanks prison :/), parental death.... sorry

More soft whimpers escaped from the boy's lips, causing an annoyed growl to come from the man in the other cot. Every week and every night, this kid had nightmares, making increasingly maddening noises as the week went on.

Maybe _this_ was why that pathetic thing was in here, in the darkest level of the dungeon, for only the worst of the worst - because he was an annoying little brat, and so they shoved him down here so they wouldn't have to hear his incessant whining.

The Separist's eyes narrowed as he pushed himself off the bed and hovered over him, casting a shadow over his trembling body. It was a sad sight to see, truly, the boy's shackles jingling as his body shook.

He currently disregarded this, roughly picking up the boy and slamming him to the wall. His eyes shot open, fear and confusion stricken throughout them.

"Do you _ever_ shut up?" Andrew yelled, causing Varian to flinch fiercely, a high-pitched yelp ripping from his throat. Hands clasped around the boy's throat, and he helplessly tried to pry them away without avail, the adult's hands too strong for his weak child ones.

"But, hey, it's okay, _buddy_ ," the man slipped a sharp rock out from his pant pocket, showing it off to the struggling boy. His eyes widened and he thrashed around even more, more frantically than before, opening his mouth in an attempt to try and scream for help. "I'll make sure you never make a sound again."

Varian's mouth snapped shut with a click of his teeth, stopping his attempts at escape to stare fearfully between the man and the rock glinting in the moonlight.

Footsteps sounded down the hallway, but the saporian did not let up his attack, his grip only tightening, causing Varian to make a strained choking sound as his vision was spotted with black.

His teeth grinned together as the sharp edge dragged into his cheek, unable to scream out in pain and unable to breathe.

The next few moments were blurry - shouting, the sound of a struggle, something dropped, more shouting... silence.

A piercing ringing flooded his ears and the blood rushed to his head, his neck reddening as his body began to process the wound. He choked on air multiple times, his lungs burning from lack of oxygen.

He shoved himself in the corner as a man towered over him - a different man from before, a guard - his gruff voice muffled to his ears. When he didn't respond, the soldier sighed in defeat and left the prisoner to his devices.

Soon, after who knows how long, his sight cleared up, after many tears, and his eyes met the familiar sheen of the moonlight on the stone that used to be held at him. The boy scrambles forward, getting a hold of it with shaky hands, and holds it out in front of him, ready for someone to dare and come up to his cell door.

He stayed like this, waiting for someone who wasn't going to come, again, his entire body trembling. Eventually, he drifted off to a restless sleep, dropping the stone as his figure went limp against the wall, passing out from exhaustion.

-

Varian jolted awake to the sound of footsteps approaching his cell, and he silently, slowly, reached for the rock by his side, holding it protectively in the darkness, more for comfort than as a threat.

The woman stopped her stride at the sight of him, her determined face slipping into something of shock. She looked him up and down, taking in the full extent of his appearance.

The boy was huddled in the corner, quivering like a leaf in the wind. His clothes were slightly oversized and raggedy, his face pale even in the warm sun. Round eyes pierced her soul, wide in confusion as he watched her. Varian's skin crawled at the thought of her seeing him in the condition. Her eyes specifically hovered over his neck, where there was, no doubt, two big hand imprints starting to bruise, and a line of dried blood lining his cheek, which was sure to get infected if it weren't treated soon. She made a mental note to order a doctor to come down and fix him up.

The shackles on his wrists were already causing that area to bruise, what without his gloves to protect them. Even his signature goggles were missing, the only accessory they actually had let him keep was his apron, and it was a little jarring to see.

"Varian," she started, awe evident in her voice, "What happened?"

He had to repress a growl, clutching the rock harder than before. Princess, he found himself wanting to spit, but thought that it may not be good to do so in his current condition.

"Did a guard do this to you?"

The prisoner simply stared at the princess, and she had to shove down a shiver. She sighed.

"Varian of Old Corona," Rapunzel started in a noble voice, standing up straight again, "Your trial will begin next week, and then I will be leaving after the final decision of the court." She faltered once more, her gaze shifting away, "I'm sorry."

And then she was gone, and the alchemist was left alone again.

His grip lessened on the object in his now-ungloved hand.

After a moment of thought, he slipped it into his boot.

Just for safekeeping, it wasn't like he would actually have a use for it. It just makes him feel safe. And, right now, he really needs that.

-

Rapunzel sighed, walking up from the dungeons, her arms crossed listlessly across her chest. Her boyfriend and her best friend had stood there, waiting until she returned. They noticed her dejected attitude and immediately ran over.

"Blondie, what happened? Did he hurt you?" Eugene held her worriedly, she shook her head.

"No, it... I don't like this," she unraveled her arms and took his hands gratefully. "Eugene, someone hurt him."

His and Cass' eyes widened slightly.

"What? What do you mean?" Cassandra started, but Rapunzel just sighed.

"Someone strangled him," her frown deepened.

Her boyfriend immediately let go, jaw falling open. "What? But, Sunshine, it's barely been a week, are you sure?" He questioned worriedly.

"I'm sure, Eugene. He had handprints on his neck." Her voice broke. Who would do that? And to a child, no less. "Guys, I-I don't want to just leave him here. If this is just the first week, what would the next month be like? Next _year_?" She pleaded. "I have an idea, to help him, but it's a little crazy.."

"Blondie," Eugene placed a warm hand on her shoulder, "Whatever you want to do, I'm with you, all the way,"

"Me too," Cassandra piped up, "We're with you."

The princess smiled. "Alright. This may be a _little_ crazy, but..."

-

A week later, just as Rapunzel said, he had to get ready for his trial. They gave him a set of new clothes and time to bathe. Like, an actual _hot_ shower, so he can actually get cleaned. Of course, he had only a limited time to do so, but he didn't mind because, well, he hadn't exactly had time to clean himself for a while, not thoroughly, at least.

They knocked gently on the door to remind him that it was time to get out of the tub. He complied and dried himself off, and then dressed himself. He stared into the window for a moment. Newly on his body was a plain white shirt, with a lightweighted dark grey coat draping over his shoulders. He had a beige pair of slacks on his legs, and a pair of medium brown boots with decorative straps going horizontally on the sides facing outwards. He was told he could put the apron back on after the court session. He repositioned the rock into the news shoes and called for the handmadens that were waiting for him that he was ready.

They opened the door and entered the room, followed by a pair of guards, and he silently rubbed his wrists as they came towards him with a pair of cuffs, but, when ordered to, he reluctantly held his hands out and allowed them to shackle him. They also placed a pair on his ankles and a chain around his waist - and maybe they'd even place one at his neck, if it weren't for the growing bruises around that area.

The soldiers lead him out of the room and into an even bigger one, the court room, and sat him down at the defendants table, keeping a firm grip on his shoulder.

The room was already filled with a crowd of people in the benches for the public. The royal family was sitting in three chairs in front of him, and he felt so much smaller than usual.

Then, the king's royal advisor cleared his throat and continued to list all the charges on top of Varian's head. "Do all of these charges seem correct?"

Varian paused for a moment, unsure if he was supposed to speak. He silently shook his head.

Nigel's brow furrowed with annoyance. "Speak, boy."

The ravenette cleared his throat, praying his voice would still be there, and tried to speak. "N... No, I didn't attack the princess and I d- I didn't kill my father," he rasped, before getting cut of by a fresh new wave of coughs. "It- it was an accident, your honor. He's.. he's not dead."

Rapunzel nodded. "Yes, he did not attack me. He came to me for help," she sent an apologetic look at the defendant.

The king's expression stayed carefully neutral. "How do you know he is still alive? And, Varian," his voice softened, "Please, l never got to hear the full story; tell me, what happened to your father, Quirin?"

"I could hear his heartbeat, sir." He breathed deeply, "It's- It's the only thing that kept me going."

His dad had to be alive; he had to be, because, if he wasn't, everything Varian had done will have been for naught.

Varian then explained what happened to his father, and the courtroom listened intently. He had to force himself not to let any tears through.

"I am sorry that happened, Varian." The king nodded solemnly. "We will have someone check that, for you. There is a chance you could have imagined it."

Nigel nodded curtly. "The charge for attacking the princess has officially been dropped, and the charge of parricide is pending."

Varian nodded, surprised that Cassandra, of all people, didn't press charges.

Nigel began again, "How does the defendant plead?"

Varian took a deep breath.

"I'm.. guilty, your honor."

The king nodded, the queen watching him carefully. "Then we shall move on to the final verdict. Varian of Old Corona," the king began, and Varian tensed.

This was it; he was going to be sent straight to the gallows, or he'd rot away in prison for the rest of his life, never able to save his father or anything at all, for that matter. His life was over, no matter which of these decisions they'd come through. Maybe they could let him out on parole, or... No, they wouldn't even grant him that. There was no hope.

"I hereby sentence you to community service under the crown, with the benefit of parole, to travel with the princess on her quest for the black rocks as a prisoner as a replacement for jail time. You will help her in any way she asks of you. Eugene will be your escort, and Cassandra will be your official guard." Fredrick straightened. "Good luck, son," he added softly.

Varian stared blankly. What? They're just letting him go like that? Granted, still a prisoner, but the least he expected was a full-on exile. Not some _trip_ with the princess, the one person he resents most.

He didn't express this, simply nodding his head. And then it was over, and he was being dragged back to his cell for the last time.  
-

The road was bumpy on the way over.

They took him out of the prison cart. He was wearing the extra restraints just as he was a few days prior, and they jingled with him as he moved. They maneuvered through the entourage of rocks surrounding his house alongside the princess and her friends.

Before this, Rapunzel and the others got to get a food look at his injuries. Cassandra stared, an angered look on her face. It looked like she wanted to murder who ever scarred his face and strangled his neck. Rapunzel had that same pitiful look on her face from the first night she saw, matching Eugene's solemn expression. A person he didn't know - tall, beefy, dark-skinned - gazed at him, seemingly in shock at the sight.

Varian was silently happy that Rapunzel had gotten him a doctor, even if he didn't want to be touched, it was better than having to endure whatever their reactions would have been if he were left untreated.

-

Okay, so maybe the plan was a _lot_ crazy.

However, surprisingly, the king had agreed - her father actually listened to her, and that may have made her a bit giddy.

And, now, after a week of preparation, they were almost done. The only thing they have left to do was get Varian what he needs for the trip.

They carefully avoided the rocks, making sure for the princess not to touch any of them, and walked in through the front door. Immediately, there was a sign of a struggle, things knocked over the floor accompanied with scuff marks lining the hard-wood. Rapunzel noticed Varian physically wince at the sight, a grimace making wrinkles on his young face.

Cassandra breathed out through her nose. "Let's... move on."

Everyone moved in silent agreement into the lab, and they took off all of their prisoner's chains temporarily, all the guards now watching his every move. He knew better than to run, but there was no harm in extra precautions. Kind of.

Varian tensed at this, feeling all-too familiar. He even recognized some of their voices, and that infuriated him. How dare they show their face here again? But, at the same time, it scared him. If he were to mess up, they surely wouldn't hesitate to hurt him again. This is what kept him in line.

"Okay! Varian," The princess clapped her hands together enthusiastically and smiled down at the alchemist, "Why don't you grab some of your translation notes and other things you need? We'll meet you right back here whenever you're done, okay?"

Varian rolled his eyes and nodded. He was stopped from walking away by his personal guard clapping his shoulder with her hand, causing him to flinch. "And no alchemy," the lady-in-waiting warned, causing his eyes to widen, but he was forced to comply. "But, hey, if you're nice, we might pack some for you."

The boy pulled out of her grip and made his way to a separate room which resembled an office, purposely avoiding looking at his father's prison, and began to gather his things.

Of course, Cassandra followed him inside, keeping a close eye on him. She forced him to explain to her everything he picked up, which was mainly just notes and books. Just because she went along with Rapunzel's plan about this, that doesn't mean she trusted him, and he could understand why.

He did try and squeeze the life out of her.

He huffed, walking out of the room with a hefty stack in his arms.

The princess' boyfriend smirked at this. "How can a puny little thing like you carry all _that_?"

Varian deadpanned. "I live on a farm; my entire life has been lifting heavy things." Then, a smile tugged at his lips. "Plus, I _did_ make an entire army of automatons, by myself, in a single day, so I'd say I'm a pretty capable young lad," he said cheerily, almost sounding like his old self, aggressively so.

Eugene shifted at this. "Well, you're no fun."

Varian grinned, setting down the stack on the floor, where other things were piled.

Then, he was pounced by a fluffy grey blur, knocking him to the ground. He yelped, falling on his back, sending a jolt through his aching and bruised body. But it was easy to forgive when he saw who exactly had attacked him.

"Ruddiger!" He exclaimed, prompting the raccoon to nuzzle his face lovingly. Varian allowed a single sob, sitting up and pulling Ruddiger against his body. They sat like that for a while before Varian held him out and looked him over. "Ruddy," he frowned, "You look like you haven't eaten a thing.." The animal looked at him and whirred as if to say _"sorry,"_ and the boy shook his head. "It's okay, Ruds. We'll - we'll get you a whole batch of- of apples." He smiled sheepishly, unsure if the people around him would actually allow that, and turned to the audience watching. "Right?" He asked, the grin falling.

It seemed Ruddiger then remembered where he was, his eyes spotting the bandage on his face and the purpling area around his neck. Before anyone could even attempt to answer, he whirled around and hissed wildly, his fur bristling wildly as if to demand _"Who hurt my boy?"_

The soldiers flinched back, and Cassandra held the hilt of her sword - just in case; she would never actually hurt an animal.

"No, no! Ruddiger," Varian held him back, "Please," he pleaded, "They didn't do this. I'm- I'm okay."

The raccoon turned to the prisoner and began to search his face. Seeming to have found whatever he was looking for, he sat obediently on his lap, and Varian smiled at him as a silent thank you.

A gasp sounded from across the room, calling all attention towards it. "It" was a smiling Rapunzel, seemingly relieved. "Oh, Ruddiger! He's back!"

Varian noticeably shrunk back. "Um, your highness," he strained not to mock her in that moment - it just became a habit to spit her title with such bitterness - and grit his teeth. "It, uh, doesn't look like he's been eating..." he trailed off, hoping she got the memo.

And she did, gasping a bit quieter than before. "Of course! We'll get him a whole basket before we leave."

He grimaced at her tone. Why was she being so nice to him? She does know he kidnapped her mother.. right?

"I.." Varian began, regretting it as soon as he started. "Thank you," he mumbled, almost barely audible. But she heard, making her smile even wider; making him regret ever asking in the first place. This changed as he looked down and saw Ruddiger's happy face. Okay, maybe he'd make an exception for it. _This time._

Well, he was already digging a whole for himself, so... "R- Rapunzel," he bit his lip nervously, "When am I going to get my gloves and goggles back? I mean, they- ..they were my mom's," his voice was just above a whisper, now, and he frowned at how pathetic he sounded. But it did the job, the princess frowning pityingly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Varian," she began and he had already began to lose hope, "But it's my father's orders to not let you wear them."

"Oh, I-" Varian started, but Rapunzel wasn't finished.

"But, we can always store them away with us," she offered, "You just- you can't wear them."

The prisoner's eyes widened, half with relief and half with shock. "Th-" he found himself saying again, but willed himself to stop and glance away. He could practically feel how her frown deepened at this, but she only sighed.

"Alright, ladies and gentlemen," Eugene reminded everyone of his presence, "Wonderful show, really, but I think we've got all we need." He glanced pointedly to the pile of things in the middle of the room, "Get packing, boys."

The guards carefully moved around the room, always keeping one eye out for the alchemist, and carried the stuff outside with a great effort to not drop everything because of the indestructible rock barrier only a few feet from the front door step. They forced Varian along with them, to await being thrown into another prison cell, aka whatever driving vessel they'd be traveling in for only stars-know-how-long, followed by the stranger from earlier, who seemed particularly antsy around the teen. Cassandra was on Varian's heels the whole time, which grew progressively more and more annoying.

Rapunzel and Eugene had stayed behind.

"Alright, Blondie, let's get this over with," the former thief tapped his foot, almost impatiently, on the stone floor.

Rapunzel sighed and walked up to the golden substance, her heart wrenching in her chest. Could he really be alive? What if he was dead? What if-

She put her ear to the crystal, right on the level where the village leader's chest is, and listened. The only noise was her own heart pounding in her ear; it was the only heartbeat she could hear.

There was no sound coming from inside the amber.

Quirin was dead.

A sob threatened to escape her lips as she pulled away from his prison - his _tomb_.

Her boyfriend immediately took notice, running over and taking Rapunzel in his arms. She turned and wrapped hers around his body, pushing her face into his chest. He dragged a hand through her hair.

After a moment of silence, he spoke, a question they were all thinking.

"How are we going to tell the kid?"

-

Varian watched the entrance anxiously; they were taking too long for his liking. It almost felt like a millennia before the princess and her boyfriend came out hand-in-hand, a downcast look on both their faces.

No, haha, this was a joke. A prank. And it wasn't funny.

"I..." The princess finally raised her head, looking to Varian with a sob, "I'm so sorry..."

Oh.

Oh, no.

His world came crashing down, and suddenly, everything became so loud.

His mind became a scrambled of memories, almost as if his life were flashing before his eyes, but all the audio were overlaying over each other and it just kept _building and building until it sculpted a tower - a tower of mistakes._

_And it all comes crashing down._

His stare was blank and distant, almost disturbing to see. He hadn't made a single noise, a single movement, as if he were frozen in stone.

After a few minutes of silence, waiting for a reaction, something that would never come, a guard grabbed his shoulder, which the boy didn't even flinch at this time, and took him over to the caravan. Varian's legs moved almost mechanically, as if they weren't attached to his body anymore. It was a little chilling to see - his lack of reaction and wide, unseeing eyes.

The vehicle had the traditional Corona colors, purple and gold, branded with the kingdom's crest. The caravan was split into two sides, one for boys, one for girls.

At the back was an extra room, which seemed to be Varian's new cell. He was shoved inside with Eugene, his escort, and Cassandra, his guard, the handcuffs which were put back on before they left the lab rubbing unsavorably against his skin.

"Okay, kid," Eugene started, clearly unnerved by him. "This is where you'll be staying, blah blah blah," he waved his hand dismissively, "We uncuff you by night and shackle you're leg to the wall so you can at least sleep decently. Cuff you in the morning, and then breakfast. Understood?" He finished, looking like he wanted to be out of there as soon as possible.

Varian didn't respond, practically staring right through them.

Eugene sucked in a breath through his teeth. "Okay, good, now let's go."

Cassandra gave the prisoner one, last, wary look over. His lip quivered as if he wanted to speak but something was keeping him quiet. She exhaled through her nose and closed the door behind her.

The space wasn't too cramped, it was actually kind of cozy, when he thought about it. There was a desk, most likely where he'd be working, a chain to the wall there as well. A soft light emanated from that corner, an oil lamp glowing brightly atop the table; maybe he could make some alchemical compound from the oil, and use the heat as a burner. There was a line driving right through the middle of the room, something he found quite curious. If he really tried, he could pry it apart and jump down onto the ground below it. He took a gander at his bed; it was a cot much like in prison, but it had actual cushions and a nice, warm blanket. There was a chest in the other corner of the room, likely to put his belongings, no matter how little he had now, into.

He draped the coat they gave him before court over it and fiddled with his apron.

Varian turned his gaze to the two doors leading to the other rooms. Each of them had one small, rectangular window, containing three metal bars and a wooden slider on the other side of the doors. Likely for privacy reasons. The doors locked from the outside, and there wasn't even anything lock for him to be able to pick. Not that he knew how, but still, another escape route lost.

He then realized that Ruddiger was with him, pittering silently on the floor and looking up at Varian with a confused and worried look.

There were no windows leading to the outside, but it seemed they had to wait, Rapunzel having sent a guard to get Varian's belongings.

He sat on his bed and waited, petting the raccoon's pelt comfortingly. He could only hope that they would be careful with his stuff.

-

"Hey, Varian," Rapunzel said cheerily, peering through the window from the girl's side. He raised his head and stared at her, lips pressed into a thin line. Rapunzel faltered. "Are you- are you hungry?" It had been a few hours since they had left for the road, and he hadn't said a peep. "We made lunch," she added on, but he still didn't answer.

The princess sighed, her smile falling completely. "Alright, well.. my offer still stands." The window closed and he exhaled quietly, letting out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. This was going to be a long trip.

-

It was now night time, his hands uncuffed and his ankle chained to the wall near the bed as promised. He laid, staring up at the ceiling, wishing nothing more but to see the stars.

It was just so dark, and he was just so tired. As much as he wanted to stay awake, because sleeping would be a vulnerability, and he was surrounded by enemies, his body was beckoning him to rest, to give in. And, as much as he fought the urge to do just that, he unwillingly gave in, practically blacking out on his cot.

-

Noises echoed throughout the caravan, passing through the wooden walls and into the three rooms.

Slowly, everyone woke up, straining to find the source. After realizing that it was none of them, they turned to the doors leading to a separate compartment.

Varian's room.

They opened the slider, and Rapunzel gasped at the sight.

It was Varian, thrashing around in his sleep, strained sobs and whimpers racking his body. She immediately unlocked the door and rushed in, followed by a few more concerned and scared faces.

But that wasn't just it, no, he was saying something, repeating it over and over again with growing aggressiveness. "No.. no. No, n- no!" He cried out.

-

Varian woke up screaming.

"Dad!" He yelled, jolting up into a sitting position and pushed himself up against the wall, instinctively grabbing his neck, as if to shield it from _hands, reaching, going for his throat-_

He stared wildly at the group huddled around him, and he suddenly felt very small and trapped. _They were keeping him away from dad._

"My- my daddy, I- I have to help my dad, he's- he's alive, _please_ -" he sobbed, but no one made a move, their pitying looks only deepening. What couldn't they understand? His dad needed help, _he_ needed help - why aren't they helping?

"Varian," Rapunzel approached carefully, "He's gone."

His breath hitched in his throat.

"No!" He lashed out, shaking even harder. "I'm- I, I'm not crazy! I know he's alive, you have to- you, you have to check again! You-" He pulled his hands through his messy hair and grabbed on tight. " _Please_ ," he sobbed pitifully.

No one made a move for a moment, watching this now-orphaned boy cry out, not even noticing his worried pet by his side.

Rapunzel was the first to act, raising a hand and reaching towards him.

_Reaching for him, grabbing his neck - he can't breathe, he can't-_

"Don't touch me!" Varian screamed, slapping the hand away before it could touch him. His hand stung from how hard it hit, and his wrists burned from the swift movement, a shock cascading up his arm. He grit his teeth to not let out another shout.

His eyes refocused and he saw what just happened - that hand wasn't his cellmate's, it was Rapunzel's. He just smacked _Rapunzel._

His eyes widened and he began to scoot back more, crushing his body further into the corner. A sword pointed at him, threatening him if he dared move. The wielder, Cassandra, stared at him with a scowl.

The boy's breath hitched in his throat. "I'm sorry! I'm-" he broke off with a sob, "Don't h-hurt me, please."

The stranger, Lance, he had overheard was his name, carefully pushed the blade down. He gently pushed everyone else back before crouching down, trying to appear less threatening, across from the boy.

Varian watched him nervously, focusing entirely on him. Lance began to whisper to him, trying to comfort him, and, eventually, he forced himself to calm down, a few stray whines escaping his lips. He wasn't crammed as far into the corner now, his small body no longer shaking as hard, either.

"What- what just-" Cassandra sputtered, glancing between the two.

"I think," Lance slowly got up and turned to the group, who was now shrouded in a dark silence, "We should all just go back to sleep, and figure it out in the morning."

At that, they dispersed, sending worried looks between Varian and each other, leaving back to their designated sides of the trailer.

Varian didn't sleep another wink. No matter what his body ordered him to do, his mind would not listen. He didn't want to remember, and, stars, he wanted nothing more than to go numb again.

And so he tried his best to.

-

The next morning, they creeped in and put on his handcuffs, and he didn't even move other than stand up and walk when asked to.

They brought him outside, where they had started a campfire and made stools out of stumps. Guess this is going to be camp for now.

Varian watched as conversations haunted and movements stilled. He watched as Rapunzel seemed to idle by, fidgeting with her fingers anxiously, looking like she _really_ wanted to talk to him.

His skin crawled - he didn't like people looking at him much anymore, no matter how hard he used to try to get everyone's attention before. Not even _he_ liked looking at himself.

He turns to stare back at the princess, his face completely blank. She backed off and he sat on a log, the furthest away from the fire, and fiddled with the ends of his sleeves.

He didn't eat the breakfast that was, albeit awkwardly, handed to him by Eugene. And when he tried to ask him about last night, he simply stared at him and didn't answer any of his attempts.

No one bothered him after that, and for that, he was grateful.

This was going to be a _long_ trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Is there something I can do?_   
>  _Is there something I can do; can I make it up to you?_


	5. Can I Ask You Something?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _How far would you go to find the truth?_
> 
> The gang arrives in Vardaros, and, after some wedding drama, Cassandra executes a risky plan in a pursuit for answers, initially showing barely a sparse concern for their prisoner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: outing (kinda??), violence, poisoning, drugging (truth serum again, sorry it happens so much here), mentions of death and parental death, a lil bit of bad thoughts, food, and violence. Varian also let's out a lil bit of anger on an unsuspecting guard :)
> 
> My Trans Varian agenda is coming into fruition so enjoy that,,,, Adira comes in and I really want Varian to just call her Aunt Adira already but PATIENCEEEEE HHHH
> 
> Also tysm for everything it means the world <3

While Rapunzel and Eugene frolicked off in nature, Varian was stuck in the back of the caravan.

These people had no _actual_ direction, literally just going anywhere. He wondered when the next town would be. He would be lucky if they let him out at all when that time came, but his legs were growing stiff and his eyes were growing droopy. And he absolutely did _not_ want to sleep, at least not while literally everyone else is awake.

There weren't any windows to the outside world, but he could hear his guard chiding the princess through the walls.

At least Cassandra had some sense to her.

The real world isn't all fun and games, and Varian learned that lesson the hard way. He had hoped to have taught Rapunzel that lesson now, too, but it was obviously that didn't happen.

"Next stop: Vardaros!" Eugene exclaimed, popping out from the sunroof.

"The city of fun and games!" Lance chuckled, popping out near his friend.

"Did we really have to bring them along?" Cassandra mused to Rapunzel.

"Ah, come on, Cass, Vardaros is an amazing city, you're going to have fun!" Eugene placed a hand on Lance's back, smiling big. "Which, I'm guessing," He and Lance bent down and looked at the two, "Is a new thing for you."

-

They went adventuring again for a few short hours - well, short for them. They dragged Varian along with them, because they couldn't just leave him alone in the caravan, as if he could so easily escape, and it felt gruelingly long. He idled by the cave entrance, staying far away from the golden substance keeping weird reptilian creatures preserved inside.

Amber.

-

The next day, the boys gathered on their side of the caravan. Eugene was talking about proposing to Rapunzel again, and Varian just couldn't understand it, listening from his room.

Varian stared at him, displaying no emotion. Eugene caught his eye, raising a brow.

"Hey, don't look at me like that!" He yelled defensively and the boy rolled his eyes playfully with a smirk.

When they stopped, Lance practically dragged Varian out, blabbering about finding a picnic spot.

They stopped before Cassandra, who was looking through the food trunk. She closed it and turned to the two. "We're running dangerously low on rations."

Lance gasped, "What? Even without this guy eating?" He gestured to the boy, laughing humorously. " _Already_?"

Cassandra glared. "Well, if someone didn't eat all our food, we'd be _fine_."

"Adventure gives me the munchies!" Lance yelled defensively, causing Varian to shrink back at the sudden loudness.

The man turned and apologized profusely, and Varian looked at him like he was absolutely mad.

"Well," Eugene pinched the bridge of his nose. "I guess someone should head into town and pick up more supplies."

When Rapunzel volunteered to take a walk with him, the two looked particularly uncomfortable and awkward.

The guard looked increasingly more annoyed. "Guys, I can't take this any more - enough!" She snapped, and Varian watched her warily. "No one is going for a walk, let's just take the caravan into town. _Together."_

The couple glanced at each other, unsure, but no one could argue with Cass; it was the best route of action. They shoved Varian back inside and set off again.

-

"Oh, uh," Lance started, staring at the entrance of the city, "Ew."

Immediately, this place gave off bad vibes, and that familiar itching feeling covered Varian's skin.

There were eyes watching them - eyes he could not see. That fear alone was enough to force Varian to gain the will to speak, if only temporarily 

They decided to split up, not wanting the princess to be recognized.

Eugene started off towards the town, and Varian ran to him. His escort turned to him suspiciously.

" _Eugene_ ," Varian said, voice quiet and hoarse with about a week of not using it, looking around nervously. "I- I think-" he stuttered, and Eugene groaned.

"Kid, if you want to come along, you can. I _am_ your escort, after all."

Varian shut his mouth. That wasn't what he wanted, but it would have to do. If Eugene didn't want to listen, then the least he could do is tag along and keep a lookout, or, at least, keep these idiots from trouble.

Time passed and Lance kept making fun of Eugene for trying to settle down a girl who just got free. Varian smiled, listening in on the conversation.

A little girl called them over, speaking of Rapunzel being in trouble.

Eugene and Lance glanced at each other, and Varian was dumbfounded for a moment. As they began to run off after the girl, Varian snatched Eugene's hand.

"Wait, _wait_!" He called, his voice cracking, and the two stopped in their tracks to stare at him.

"Please, you have to be feeling what I'm feeling, right? Why would this girl want to help us - in a town like this? It's a trap! Eugene-"

Eugene scoffed, pulling his hand away. "Listen, kid, I get that you hate Rapunzel and all, but if she's in trouble, we're _going_ to help, whether you like it or not."

"Ugh," Varian rolled his eyes. Did it really always have to be about _her_? "This isn't _about_ her, this is about the fact that _this_ ," he pointed at the direction where the stranger had just ran off to accusingly, "Is obviously a trap! Guys, _please_ ," He was practically begging now, but Eugene just groaned.

Maybe he should have brought Ruddiger along in town; he could have used his adorable little eyes as a weapon to make them submit. But he wasn't here.

"Sorry if you can't see the good in everybody, but let me remind you, you don't have a choice." He grabbed onto his shoulder. "Don't make this harder than it needs to be, kid."

Varian flinched hard, which sent Eugene's hand flying away. That wording was all-too familiar.

They were at a standstill, Eugene's eyes wide in shock, and Varian's in fear. The boy steeled himself and stood up straight.

"Fine!" The prisoner huffed, moving past them. "But I told you so." He said darkly, and Lance glanced at Eugene one more time, watching as he sighed defeatedly and ran to catch up.

-

"I told you so," Varian spat bitterly. Eugene rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Get it all out of your system."

"Fine," Varian stood up, "Does promise breaking just run all over Rapunzel's little _friend circle_? It seems like all of your problems come from going back on your word, but honestly, I don't know why I'm surprised. There's always some pattern to things, and I guess that's the one constant." He huffed and leaned up against the wall, "You should have listened to me. Hell, I tried to tell you when we first got into this godforsaken town but you just shrugged me off. I know what eyes feel like, trust me, I had at _least_ a dozen on me at all times for a little more than a month. The _one time_ I try to open my mouth and help, I'm shoved away. Honestly, I should be _used_ to this, and now, Lance is going to die by his worst fear and I'm going to be forced to build _another_ army of automatons. But wait! I'll be doing it for a _crime_ lord for the rest of my measly life!"

When he looked, the ex-thief was still staring at him, brows furrowed. "Ya done?"

Varian shook his head after a few beats of thought. "I'd be able to make a cure myself if I had my alchemy."

"Great." Eugene sighed. "I just got lectured by a child."

The younger decided to start the silent treatment again. Now all they could do was wait for whatever was next, and pray that someone came to help them.

-

"Look," Adira said finally, taking her sword away from the blonde's hair, giving herself a silent answer of why it didn't cut, and sighed. "As much as I wish to talk to the Sundrop now, I must tell you: your friends could be in danger."

Rapunzel and Cassandra exchanged a wary look.

"What do you mean?" The Sundrop wielder asked.

The warrior shrugged. "Word travels fast, here in Vardaros. Everyone here is out for the famous _Flynn Rider_ , and I am afraid that someone may have already gotten their hands on him."

-

Varian stared at his now uncuffed hands, getting a good look at how red and irritated his wrists have gotten.

The Baron had cut his restraints, seemingly thinking that if he freed him, practically only to put him in a bigger box, that he would help him. Even if he agreed to help The Baron willingly, he knew that he'd be under constant surveillance again, and never be allowed to see the light of day. He'd slave away just like he did that one night, hunched over hot metals and bolts and nails.

Never again. He never wanted to make or see those accursed things ever again.

He watched as Stalyon taunted Eugene, told him what he needed to hear. Even Varian felt it, how much it stung, seeing the look on Flynn's face as she talked; he made a note to call him Flynn from now on, he seemed to really hate that, but Varian couldn't even smile at the thought, mind too clouded with other things.

Eugene locked eyes with Varian's for a moment. The younger wondered what exactly lied behind those eyes for a moment, in both senses of the word _'lie' _, before the look on his face grew too unbearable, causing him to tear his eyes away.__

__The woman stalked out to join her father, who was announcing their engagement. When Eugene's past title was called, he stepped outside, looking downright miserable._ _

__"Eugene!" The boy heard Rapunzel call, listening in on their conversation from behind the curtain. "I don't understand, what's happening?" She continued to question, and it almost seemed like Eugene were to spill, when the curtain was slipped open, just enough for him to see his best friend, sick and in pain._ _

__Varian had to hand it to these guys, they sure knew how to be villains. But maybe that's not so much a good thing in this particular moment._ _

___Dumping the substance on the rocks. The breath hitching in his throat. The amber growing quicker than before, the alchemist having sped up the initial stages of the crystallization process by tinkering with the formula. He imagined if it ever reached her. Trapping, killing the queen; it had already killed his father._ _ _

__His blue eyes rested on Lance's heaving body._ _

__It was so easy to imagine the amber slowly crawling up his limp body, killing the only tolerable person on this trip._ _

__He shuttered and looked to the floor._ _

__Oh, yeah, he was going to _kill_ somebody for this. An eye for an eye, a life for a life, as they say._ _

__Or, at the very least, he's going to sucker punch The Baron's stupid grin off his stupid face._ _

__Suddenly, he was being pushed out the curtain as well._ _

__Another gasp sounded._ _

__"Varian?" Rapunzel shouted, clearly shocked. Why was he out of his chains? Was he working with The Baron?_ _

__Varian stared at her, frowning and eyes narrowed worriedly. _Please don't take this the wrong way.__ _

__Cassandra was already stalking forward, growling angrily and sliding out her sword._ _

__Ah, okay._ _

__So he's dead._ _

__The other half of the engagement followed after Eugene, and The Baron began again._ _

__"Varian," he pulled the boy closer, and Varian immediately stiffened, feeling trapped. "My new assistant," he grinned sinisterly down at Rapunzel._ _

__Ah._ _

__He was shoved backstage before his guard could cut his head off._ _

__-_ _

__They were shoved in the cell again, making Varian restless and grab at his neck protectively. And probably Eugene, too. The ex-thief must have gone to prison at least one time, and probably longer than what Varian had done._ _

__The teenager sat near Lance, afraid to look anywhere else, as if he'd slip away if he took his eyes off him._ _

__Varian squirmed uncomfortably on the ground as Lance continued on. Delirium, a sign, the crime boss had said, that the end was near._ _

__Suddenly, Lance booped his nose, talking about - strawberries? Varian blinked, staring at him with wide, concerned eyes._ _

__Oh, how he hoped for this to end soon._ _

__"How's he doing, Hairstripe?" Eugene's voice shook him out of his worried thoughts. His eyes began to narrow, an empty look falling on his face._ _

__Eugene frowned but moved on, crouching in front of his friend and placing his hand on his chest. "Lance, buddy, just - hang on, alright? I promise, I'll do whatever it takes."_ _

__The Baron's daughter sauntered over, the click of her heels echoing off the stone walls. Her and Eugene began to talk, but Varian wasn't quite listening._ _

__Silently, he wondered, if he would keep his promise this time._ _

__A bitter part of him thought, that if he did, then what would that have made Varian? If Lance was their friend and his promise got kept when Varian's didn't, then - what does that make Varian? _Were_ they ever friends?_ _

__The sound of metal hitting the floor brought him from his thoughts, just in time to see the ex-thief pick up a pair of keys. For a moment, which he clearly thought he had for himself, he took out the ring from earlier, the one he was going to propose to Rapunzel with, and stared at it sorrowfully._ _

__Varian shuffled to his feet, and walked to stand by Eugene's side. When brown eyes met his, he nodded determinedly._ _

__They were getting out of here, and they _will_ be getting Lance out alive._ _

__-_ _

__"We," Rapunzel stood proudly, no doubt having some crazy idea, "Are gonna crash a wedding."_ _

__Oh._ _

__This one may or may not be a good one._ _

__-_ _

__Varian looked away from this moment. This was between Lance and Eugene - or, more likely, Eugene and the barely functional human being in front of him, who couldn't even say _"I love you"_ back. He sighed and huddled up near the wall, trying desperately not to think about how he and his father were never able to exchange I love you's before the incident. Then it was one-sided I love you's, whispering them sadly to his dad's golden grave. And now, with the confirmation of his father's demise, there wasn't even anyone to say "I love you" to._ _

__Eugene abruptly got up, reassuring where he was going, and left_ _

__Varian, now that he was alone, allowed tears to slip through his numb-feigning facade, pulling his body closer into itself, and sobbed once into his knees quietly. This feeling was far too familiar to his liking, and he just might go berserk._ _

__Stars, how much he would give for a hug right now._ _

__Or to smack someone._ _

__Either would do._ _

__-_ _

__The bridal music had begun to play._ _

__Varian stood in the crowd, his body itching to _do something!_ But without anything on hand, he was useless. Plus the guards that were holding him and Lance in place. _ _

__Oh, yeah. Forgot about them._ _

__After Rapunzel's rock trick didn't work, they were pushed over as a threat, not caring if the princess saw anymore._ _

__"Guys! They poisoned Lance," Eugene called, informing them on the situation, which Lance just waved and said greeted them dumbly._ _

__Okay._ _

__Time for a plan._ _

__Varian didn't have any alchemy, no weapons, no-_ _

__A whistle broke through the air, and a pale white horse came along._ _

__Stars, that horse was scarily strong. However, he only took out a few people before being neutralized with ropes._ _

__Oh, yeah, Varian had fists, he suddenly remembered, whirring around and punching someone who had begun to come up from behind him and sneak attack him_ _

__It wasn't The Baron, but _oh_ , that felt _good_. His wrist burned in protest but he didn't care, enjoying the adrenaline rush._ _

__These people did this on a normal basis and never thought to bring Varian along? How could they! This was so fun! He smiled as he decked another guy in the face. _Man.__ _

__He looked over just in time to see Lance drop, and his heart fell so hard it practically was six feet under now. He heard Eugene say something about a swollen tongue, meaning they didn't have much time left._ _

__Varian could only hope Pascal was quick enough._ _

__A person, nonchalantly eating cake, was speaking to Rapunzel. And then, they turned the tides of the battle just like that._ _

__It was, in all honesty, really impressive._ _

__And just like that, in a matter of a few short minutes, they had one._ _

__They got the antivenom, they defeated The Baron, Lance was okay. And apparently, cake lady disappeared. Curious._ _

__A pit of relief formed in Varian's stomach._ _

__That was a little too close for comfort. And now, he would be forced to put his restraints back on._ _

__Shoved right back in his cage._ _

__He breathed. Might as well enjoy it while it lasts, even if the adrenaline rush he had experienced earlier had already been long and gone._ _

__-_ _

__The mystery lady had shown up again, handing Rapunzel something and going to leave once again._ _

__She stopped by Varian, looking at him and his new chains inquisitively. He felt unfortunately small under her gaze, but, with a silent nod of acknowledgement, she left him alone, disappearing into the woods._ _

__They decided to stop a little while's away from the city as the sun dipped well below the horizon line. After setting up camp, Varian practically blacked out on a log, a little closer to the fire than usual._ _

__Rapunzel smiled at him, watching him in a calm sleep-like state._ _

__Cass breathed out silently. "How about you guys get some rest," she said quietly, hand resting patiently on her hip with a small smile. "I'll put the kid to bed, alright?"_ _

__Everyone nodded, a soft yawn coming from Rapunzel, stretching as she stood up. They all returned to their designated sleeping quarters and the guard sent a look towards Varian, her expression hardening into a glower._ _

__It was time to find some answers._ _

__-_ _

__Varian woke up to his whole body throbbing dully. He groaned, shifting in his position. Pale blue eyes fluttered open, still blurred from exhaustion. He blinked, trying to focus his sight, it was like he'd been hit by a carriage, he thought, before realizing that his hands were bound to a tree as he tried to move them._ _

__The boy jolted into a panic, suddenly wide awake, and began to try and tug his arms from around the tree with very little success._ _

__As he was doing this, a figure sulked out from the shadows. Varian immediately stiffened, hair standing on end._ _

__He waited with baited breath until they came out and into the moonlight, and almost breathed a sigh of relief at who it was._ _

__Until he saw her face._ _

__Ah. Yeah. He knew that glare from earlier had meant something, and she was definitely not letting up on that threat._ _

__Cassandra's face was twisted up in a scowl, directed straight at the boy._ _

__"Varian," She said first, addressing him._ _

__Varian glared at her, a stubborn defiance._ _

__Cassandra didn't skip a beat. "I have long since been given permission to perform an interrogation, when I see fit, by the king."_ _

__Cass sighed quietly and reached down to grab his bag - because who cared about privacy, anyway? - and started shifting through it. She pulled the thing she was looking for out and waved it in front of his face._ _

__Varian stared at it, immediately recognising what it was, eyes widening at the empty bottle._ _

__One drop was supposed to have been enough._ _

__He still said nothing, even as his nerves stung. That probably wasn't good - how much serum did she use, exactly? The flask was full before, and now - now, it was completely empty._ _

__"Recognise this?" She asked, and he looked like he was struggling to keep his silence._ _

__" _Yes_ ," he strained through gritted teeth, his body flaring up when he tried to resist, "It's my truth serum."_ _

__At that, Cassandra smirked. Good, that meant it was working._ _

__"Did you, or did you not, agree to work with The Baron?"_ _

__"No!" He shouted, and suddenly, the guard was glad she took him far away from the caravan. "Not- n-not willingly, no." He quieted. “He pulled me to the side and- and threatened to kill Eugene, too, if I didn't cooperate." He looked away, as if ashamed, "And, whether I like it or not, I need you guys. I- I can't take that risk." It was technically the truth, not the whole truth, yeah, but it seemed to satisfy the serum's need for answers._ _

__Cassandra stared at him. What isn't surprising was the fact that he'd only kept them alive because of his own selfish reasons, but still._ _

__The soldier plopped down on a tree stump, dumping all the bag's contents on the ground._ _

__She picked up three small alchemy balls and waved them in the air questionably. Varian rolled his eyes. "Smoke bombs," he said plainly, "They wouldn't hurt anyone. Except maybe a fly," he half joked, a bitter taste on the tip of his tongue._ _

__Cass, obviously not believing him wholeheartedly, threw one off to the side, and it exploded into a puff of colored smoke. Seemingly satisfied with this, she tucked them away, confiscating them._ _

__She looked over the pile and stiffened when she saw a picture. She reached to pick it up, and raised a brow when she saw the contents of the photograph. A mother, a father, and a daughter, all smiling happily._ _

__"Varian," Cassandra showed it to him, and he immediately stiffened. "What about this?"_ _

__"That's- it's-" he moaned in pain, a shock getting sent through his entire body, forcing his mouth to open and his tongue to move. "A picture of me and my f-family," he gasped, "How much truth serum did you- _gah!_ " He writhed on the floor for a moment after trying desperately to change the direction of this conversation._ _

__Cass looked at him as if he was just overreacting. There's no way he could be in pain right now._ _

__"Varian, you can't lie to me," She pushed on, "You aren't even in this picture."_ _

__The boy groaned tiredly. "No, I a- I am." He mentally cursed at himself; this was the worst way possible this could be happening, and it wasn't even on his own ambitions._ _

__"Where?"_ _

__" _Stop_ ," Varian hissed, gritting his teeth. "I don't want to talk about this, I don't want to talk to you about this, I don't want to- hNgh-" his fists clenched, his muscles spasming under the effect of another electric shock tearing through his nerves._ _

__Cassandra almost wanted to give up now, but..._ _

__She was curiosity, and he was the cat._ _

__"Varian," she urged pointedly._ _

__Varian inhaled sharply, clamping his eyes shut at a fresh jolt of electricity. "The one on my- my mom's sh-shoulder!" He kicked his legs against the dirt, hoping to dispel some of the pain from the serum, and the anger at himself for giving in._ _

__"But that's a girl," she stated plainly._ _

__Varian looked away, glaring holes into the ground._ _

__"No, you're lying." Cassandra tried again._ _

__"I can't do that, Cassie."_ _

__The guard straightened at the nickname. "That's a _girl_ ," she insisted._ _

__He shrugs, seemingly giving up on fighting it. His leg twitches uncomfortably. "Not anymore," he mumbled softly._ _

__Admittedly, Cassandra had absolutely no idea what the hell _that_ meant, and before she could ask, the prisoner started up again._ _

__"Let me ask _you_ something, _Cassie_ ," he glared, blue eyes locking with hers. "What would you have done if I _didn't_ bring the truth serum? Would you have hurt me?" He asked, almost afraid of the answer. At the lack of one, he fell into a barking laugh without any humor present. "There it is, ladies and gentlemen!" The laughter dripped away, and he was scowling again. "There it is."_ _

__Cassandra stared at him, eyes wide in bewilderment._ _

__"I'm tired, Cass," Varian began exhaustedly, almost pitifully, "You got your answers. Just take me back to the caravan." He avoided her gaze, eyes drooping with exhaustion. "You drugged me with my truth serum - with _way_ too high of a dose, might I add; I only used a few drops for the cookie batter - you sift through my things, ask me things against my will and _god_ it _hurts_." His face scrunched up from another shock._ _

__"How- how does it hurt?" Cass asked, a little curious as to how a seemingly harmless little truth serum could hurt so much._ _

__"The serum is packed full with electrons, which sends shocks to the nerves and forces the brain to respond. The higher the dose, the bigger the shocks," as if on cue, Varian's body spasmed for a moment before falling limply, "The- the bigger the shocks, the bigger the p-pain. And you gave me the whole _fucking_ bottle," he looked up at her without moving his head. "And now, you don't have anything for your next interrogation."_ _

__After a few beats of silence, Cassandra stood, going behind the boy and releasing his arms from around the tree. She picked him up onto his feet by the shoulder and led him back to the caravan in silence._ _

__She has a lot to think about._ _

__-_ _

__The next morning, Varian had told everyone of the situation, mainly the fact that he was under the truth serum and was forced to speak his mind._ _

__"Don't ask me any personal questions," Varian had said, hoping they would listen. And they did, for the most part. But, of course, there were always few outliers._ _

__And, by a few, that means one._ _

__Rapunzel approached him as he was sitting near the entrance to his cell, with a smile that was way too wide to be genuine. Varian glared daggers at her, and she faltered for a few beats, but continued determinedly._ _

__"I know what you're doing, _Your Highness_ , and, frankly, I'm not impressed." The prisoner stated, an annoyed tone to his voice. If he had it _his_ way, he wouldn't even be talking to her. But here they are._ _

__Her smile faded and her shoulders fell._ _

__" _Rapunzel_ ," Varian warned again, almost pleadingly, "Please, just - let me have at least _some_ privateness, okay? I would at least like to answer on my own terms; your lady-in-waiting already violated my privacy enough," he rolled his eyes at the mention of her. "I'm still not over the fact she gave me such an unnecessarily high dose," he muttered bitingly._ _

__"Oh," the princess mumbled quietly. "I'm sorry, Varian," she held her hands together patiently. "Fine. But can I just ask one little question?"_ _

__Varian huffed, but turned to actually look at her, prompting her to speak._ _

__"Do you ever think we were friends?"_ _

__The boy stopped, thinking for a moment. He had been thinking about that question for a while._ _

__"No," he blurted out as he settled for an answer, and the blonde physically grimaced. "I thought we were friends, once, but," he took a deep breath, trying to find his wording, "I don't think we ever were, no."_ _

__The princess looked like she was about to speak, but Varian shook his head and she closed her mouth. He wasn't finished. "Maybe I was under the impression that we were friends, but I think it's obvious what I was to you." He lifted his hands, shaking the the shackles on his wrists. "Not much different than now - you used me whenever you needed help, and that was it," Varian rested his hands in his lap, "It was one sided. That much is obvious, given how much you helped _me_ when I needed it."_ _

__He laughed, still no humor present. "Every time I came for you for help, you always chose Corona over me. I wasn't lying; I _do understand the blizzard thing. You probably wouldn't have been able to help anyway, but," he sighed, trying his best to calm his nerves. Which was hard, with the truth serum seeping through his body. "You didn't even come afterwards, for _months_ , I was left to fend for myself, against a tirade of guards watching my every move," a shiver sent up his spine, but he ignored it.__ _

___"When I came to you for help to steal the flower, I had to tell you that it would help Corona, too, because _'I'm practically an orphan and my last known family member is gone'_ wasn't a good enough reason," he scowled, watching Rapunzel visibly wince. He hoped this was getting into her thick skull. "Meanwhile, I risked everything to help you whenever you needed it," a scoff sounded from the boy, "Some friends _we_ were, huh?"_ _ _

___She didn't answer, staring at him with something that feigned sorrow, and he stood up. With a huff, he got up and walked away, leaving Rapunzel, alone, to gather her thoughts._ _ _

___-_ _ _

___It was now the afternoon, and Varian chose to stay inside on his bed for dinner that night._ _ _

___His feet were off the bed and the warm, fluffy blanket gave him a comforting embrace, his pet curled up on the cushions, purring and snoring in a light sleep, emanating heat just as the oil lamp did, though something inside him kept him cold._ _ _

___Light filtered into the room as the door creaked open. The prisoner squinted at the entrance as a man came through. The smell of food entered his nostrils, and he turned away with an angry look. Why couldn't they just give up? He wasn't hungry; he felt empty, annoyingly so._ _ _

___"Hey, buddy," Lance closed the door behind him, a warm plate in his hand, and an even warmer smile on his face. The prisoner simply glared at him, not moving his head. That smile soon turned into a frown, a sigh escaping his chest, raising the plate towards the ravenette's face in an attempt to get him to accept, who, in turn, followed his movements cautiously. On the other hand, Ruddiger's head shot up at the first scent of food, an eagerness obvious in his stance. "Hungry yet?"_ _ _

___The boy stayed quiet, and another sigh came from the man. "You have to eat, Varian," he said quietly._ _ _

___"I don't want your crappy food."_ _ _

___Lance's frown deepened. "Hey, it's not that bad!" He started, a usual humorous tone taking over his voice, he shut up as Varian jolted up._ _ _

___"Stop!" Varian got up onto his feet, drawing up to his full height and letting the cloth fall from his shoulders, though still painfully small compared to the tall man. "Have you ever thought that maybe I don't deserve to eat? Maybe I–" he stopped, turning away as he fought against a shudder of electricity. "Whatever."_ _ _

___Lance's expression gloomed, placing the food at Varian's feet. "Everyone deserves a second chance. _This_ is yours." He sighs, turning to walk away. "Just, please, eat _something_. We're all worried about you, bud."_ _ _

___The almost unfamiliar light opened into the room again, before the door shut, the room now more vacant._ _ _

___Varian breathed out of his nose, closing his eyes and slumping onto the floor, leaning up against the side of the bed. A few moments more of this, and he finally opened them, his blue eyes finding the plate. Soon, they trailed over to his raccoon, who was watching him, as if waiting for permission, before Varian sighed, picking up an apple from the plate, specifically for Ruddiger, and handed it to him. The pet took it and stared at Varian, refusing to eat until he got what it wanted._ _ _

___"You play a dirty game, Ruds," he mumbled lowly, but picked up the plate and began to eat, although reluctantly. It was some kind of vegetable wrap, and, frankly, it was actually kind of good. He scarfed down the whole thing, just now realizing how hungry he was - _is.__ _ _

___There was still this strange feeling in his gut, but he shrugged it off. He turned to his raccoon, who was watching him with an overjoyous and slightly smug look. "Yeah, yeah," without knowing it, Varian smiled. " _Eat_ ," he pointed at the apple, in which the raccoon happily devoured._ _ _

___The boy released a sigh and scritched down his friend's body, who thrilled happily in response._ _ _

___Varian picked up the blanket, wrapping it around his shoulders, pulling it tighter as he repressed a shiver._ _ _

___"I can't believe I'm going this," he muttered to himself, pushing the door open, which he had just noticed had been left unlocked, just before Ruddiger hopped onto his shoulders, tucking his tail around his boy's neck, almost protectively, as he ventured out into the light. He made the executive decision to sneak around the side, away from all the prying eyes, stalling at the front, just out of sight from the man sitting on the caravan._ _ _

___The cold hand that pawed at his face encouraged him, a low chitter telling him _you can do this._ He took a breath and walked out, chains clinking together and dragging the man's attention towards him, who immediately perked up, smiling wide down on him. It made him feel small, and he shrunk into himself as a reaction, now regretting this even more. But he couldn't do anything about it, now. He was already here, Lance already saw him, patting the space next to him._ _ _

___Varian looked between the seat and Lance incredulously. "Oh," a small sound of realization came from the man, and before Varian could even think of what he was thinking, arms grabbed his waist and then he was being hauled up, and a sense of panic and utter confusion had found him. He found himself sitting in the spot he was previously offered, and he blinked rapidly, trying to process what just happened._ _ _

___Slowly, Varian turned to Lance, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. Ruddiger sounded in his ear, practically dying of laughter. Lance smiled sheepishly, apologetically._ _ _

___"L– Lance!" He snapped, cheeks burning with realization, anger, and pure, unadulterated, _embarrassment_._ _ _

___"I'm sorry!" Lance shrunk back, "You just- I– you have those chains, and it would have been hard to get up here with them on and since I can't exactly _take them off_ , so I just thought that- that you'd need a little help getting up and I acted without thinking, and I totally invaded your personal space and I'm sorry!" He began to ramble an apology, causing Varian to pause._ _ _

___"Um, it's - it's okay," he shook the warmth from his face, taking a moment to collect his thoughts again before turning to the other person present._ _ _

___"Well, I, ah- I wanted to say that I'm sorry," Varian slumped, pulling the blanket tight and rubbing the corner, the cold coming back in the warmth's place. "I shouldn't have snapped at you. You haven't done anything wrong."_ _ _

___Lance was smiling again, softly. "It's alright, buddy, I forgive you."_ _ _

___Varian nodded. Yeah. Okay. That was good, now just one more thing._ _ _

___"Are you doing alright?" The boy asked suddenly, looking up at the ex-con._ _ _

___Lance raised a brow questioningly, but answered anyway. "Yeah, I'm alright. Why do you ask?"_ _ _

___The smaller tore his eyes away, staring hard onto the floor. "Well, you got poisoned, and all, and, well, I..."_ _ _

___The man's smile grew again, an amused glint in his eye. "D'aw, what, did I worry you, Mister _'I Hate Everyone'_?"_ _ _

___"Oh, y-yea, it just reminded me of-" his mouth had begun to move on it's own without him realizing, and he suddenly closed his mouth, his teeth clicking together as they met. A current shot up his body and he gasped, trying his best to fight it. "It- it-"_ _ _

___"Woah, woah!" The man puts his hands up cautiously, "You don't have to tell me; it's okay."_ _ _

___Varian's hand twitched for a moment, and he grimaced, but his words seemed to settle the serum for now. "Th.. thank you."_ _ _

___Lance grinned, and a smile tugged at Varian's lips, as well. But shortly, it fell, pulled down by a sad confusion. "Why are you so nice to me," he muttered, pulling the fuzzy blanket even further around his body, suddenly very cold._ _ _

___The grin faded into a warm smile._ _ _

___"Why wouldn't I?"_ _ _

___Varian stared at him, and blinked._ _ _

___"I- I-I don't under _stand_ you," laughter infected his speech, and he leaned his head back on the front of the caravan, allowing more to come, tears tugging at his eyes. Soon, the laughter faded away and there was only a strange feeling in his gut, but it didn't feel bad._ _ _

___Maybe eating was a mistake._ _ _

___But it was nice, to just sit there and laugh - whatever reason it was._ _ _

___He wiped his eyes, slumping over again. A warm hand was placed on his back, and for the first time, he did not react negatively at the sudden contact,_ _ _

___A tiny smile settling on his face._ _ _

___And that was enough._ _ _

___"Thanks, I-I guess."_ _ _

___"Hey, it's no big deal, buddy."_ _ _

___Varian sighed. It was, in fact, a big deal, a bigger deal than Lance realized. But he kept quiet, simply nodding._ _ _

___Maybe this trip won't be so bad. Maybe this could be fun._ _ _

___Maybe._ _ _

___-_ _ _

___Cassandra walked over to the couple, making her presence known to the two. They looked at her and she sat down on a log at the other side of the now put out fire pit._ _ _

___"Cassandra," the blonde started, a frown on her face._ _ _

___"I know, I know," she leaned forward, resting her hands on her knees, "I shouldn't have used the truth serum without knowing the proper dosage."_ _ _

___"You shouldn't have used the truth serum _at all_ ," Eugene mumbled, prompting Rapunzel to elbow him._ _ _

___Cassandra just nodded. "Yeah, but I did, and I can't go back now. But we need to talk," she laid her arms on her knees._ _ _

___This made Rapunzel and Eugene lean in slightly. Their prisoner had been so quiet and reserved, that they couldn't get a single peep out of them for more that a short amount of time. Any information was precious, and, even if the way said data was achieved was less than favorable, it was what it was, and so, they were going to listen, and be better about it next time._ _ _

___Hopefully._ _ _

___"Do you know of any curses that change people from girls to boys?"_ _ _

___The question stunned them for a moment, leaving them wondering why this was relevant, and, more importantly, what the _hell_ was she talking about?_ _ _

___"There's this picture of Varian and his family," Cassandra explained, seeing the confusion they hadn't realized was on their faces, "And, apparently, Varian used to be a girl?" It was more of a question than a statement, unsure of it herself. She watched as the couple exchanged a look, a troubled look of perplexity and uncertainty._ _ _

___"Well..."_ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Personally, not very far. Frankly, the truth's not all it's chalked up to be._
> 
> I tried to make the trans thing as accurate as possible... taking into account my own experiences and what I would do in these situations


	6. All the Phobias of the Rainbow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Varian is afraid of the dark and being alone. And also heights. And probably cramped spaces, too.
> 
> And he also smacks someone - it was deserved, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: unintentional misgendering, panic attacks, deep-seated trauma probably, near-death experience (heights), minor injury
> 
> I had no idea what to call this chapter bc this one's kinda just speeding through a few episodes... the next chapter steers away from the show more, mainly because 1) angst and 2) I find the Terapi Island arc to be boring

"Well?"

Eugene shrugged. "I once knew a gal who said that they just didn't feel like a boy anymore, even though that's not how they were born, and that she wanted to be a girl?" He waved his hand, gesturing about. "And they started wearing more girly clothes - dresses, skirts, all that. Even grew her hair out." Eugene leaned back, straightening a little. "Maybe that's just what this is?"

"I dunno," Rapunzel started, unsure about anything right now. "Maybe it'd be best to just ask him- her?" She shook her head, trying to think of which one would be correct. "What- what do we even call h- Varian, now?"

To this, Cassandra shrugged. "I don't know, but you're right, we should just ask."

The blonde exhaled sharply before standing up. "Well, we still need supplies. We should head back into town and stock up. Meanwhile, Eugene, dear, can you see if you can talk to Varian?"

The brunette nodded, getting up as well and they all walked back to the caravan. Eugene went to open up the back of the caravan, only to find the door unlocked, cracked open, and the prison vacant. His eyes narrowed as he drew his sword - of course, he would never actually hurt the kid, but... just in case.

He stalked around the sides, heading up towards the front, hearing movement from over there. He jumped out and a girlish scream rang out, one of which could only be produced by the one, the only - Lance. There was a small squeak overlaid with the screech of a raccoon, and Eugene deadpanned towards Lance, who was smiling sheepishly at him, and lowered his sword.

"You almost scared me half to death, kid," Eugene mumbled as he trudged to Varian's side, who's bashful grin was now matching Lance's.

"S-sorry, Flynn," Varian muttered, and Eugene cringed at the name. "Is there something you need?"

The guard shifted in place. "Yeah, actually. I think we should talk."

The boy paused for a moment before turning to Lance, almost looking for a confirmation, to which he happily gave one, resting a hand on his shoulder with an encouraging nod. Varian exhaled slowly and hopped off, his feet making a soft thump when they planted on the ground.

"Alright, let's talk."

"Not so fast, kid," his escort put a hand up, making to grab his shoulder just as Lance had prior, but Varian reared back, eyes watching him carefully.

His expression hardened, from a hesitant fear to an angered defiance. "I can walk by myself, thank you very much."

A defeated sigh escaped the man and he guided the alchemist into the back of the caravan without a word. Varian sat on his bed, fiddling with the blanket he brought along. Ruddiger watched the guard with a curious yet cautious look as the silence dragged on.

"Has the serum worn off yet?"

To this, Varian shrugged sluggishly. "The food I ate seemed to help, but it's still there. Better, though."

"Okay, that's-" Eugene nodded awkwardly, "Good, good. You've- you've been eating. That's good."

Varian finally lifted his head, if only to shoot him a questioning glare. "Well? Get out with it."

Eugene sputtered. "Wha- what do you-"

Varian rolled his eyes. "Why are you _here_."

It was more of a demand than a question, and the soldier straightened.

"Cass told us about your..." the sentence fell apart on his tongue, trying to decide what to call this, "Situation," he finished, for the lack of a better word.

He could practically hear the gears whirling in the kid's head. "W- what? Why would she-" The prisoner sounded out a low groan. "Curse the human race's natural curiosity," he mumbled. "Okay." Varian leaned back on the wall, returning his attention back to the other person standing in the room. "What do you want to know, Rider?"

Stars, this kid made him _irrationally_ uncomfortable.

"So... uh, were you cursed?"

After a moment of silence, Varian barked a laugh. "What? That's-" an almost hysterical laughter stopped his speech. "Is that what you thought?"

Eugene nodded slowly.

"That's the funniest thing I've heard on years." His face then went serious. "No, I was not _cursed_. This was always how I was," the prisoner gestured towards himself, "Just never physically. It's all up in the head, what I am, I was just born wrong. And so I changed my physical appearance to be more _me_. To match the mental image of myself."

"So, it's true? You _are_ a girl?"

Varian stared at him like he was absolutely bonkers. "What? No! I told you," his chains jingled when he scooted towards the edge of the bed, "I'm a boy. I may have been born, physically, a girl, but- but I'm a boy."

This was- confusing, to say the least. But he could understand to a certain point.

"Alright, well, um," Eugene rubbed the back of his neck, "So what do we, uh - what do we call you?"

Varian stared at him for a moment.

"I would really appreciate it if you were to refer to me as a boy."

Eugene nodded. "And you have-"

Varian spoke before he could finish that thought. "That is literally none of your business, and I would love if you would refrain from ever asking that again, Rider."

He nodded again, slower. "..Yeah. Yeah, okay, I can understand that."

They sat, an uncomfortable silence falling upon them. After a few more beats of silence, the ex-thief spoke up. "Can you stop calling me that?" He exclaimed, frankly a little annoyed and unnerved. "I'm not that person anymore, okay?"

Varian watched him, unmoving. Eugene sighed, beginning to lean against the wall.

"I guess, out of all people, I should be the one to understand that," the boy chuckled, smiling a little sadly at the ground.

"And, uh, what does that mean, exactly?" Eugene's eyebrow rose.

Varian huffed. Of course he would have to explain this stuff.

"Varian wasn't my birth name," he explained, "I was given a female name at birth, and I realized that it just wasn't me. So, I read a few Flynnigan Rider books, and," he paused, looking away. "Well, there was this villain named Varius, and- and I'm sure you know all about him."

The guard blinked. "Yeah, actually. He was a warrior who tried to kill Flynnigan, and then joined up with him after realizing that his mom, who had mysteriously disappeared after he was born, was actually helping Flynnigan get to the Kingdom of Serdious, where Varius was born." He paused. " _That's_ where you got the name from?"

Varian nodded, slowly, and maybe a bit embarrassed. "Um. Yeah. But the point is," he changed the subject, "I'm sorry. I would _hate_ being called my old name, so, yeah, sorry." The chains linked together as he played with his hands. "I-I should have thought about it like that before."

"Uh, hey-" Eugene pulled back off the wall, feeling a bit stupid for trying to comfort _the boy tried to murder his future wife_ \- but he continued. "It's alright, kid. Really."

Varian winced, his face covered in shadow so Eugene couldn't even see it. _Don't make it harder than it needs to be, kid._ The captain's voice echoed through his head, and he forced down a shiver. The rock in his boot dug in his leg, and it reminded him that he can defend himself if need be, even when it nicked his skin as he shifted. He forced his shoulders to loosen before he peered back up at the man across from him. "Yeah. Okay." He nodded.

Eugene ducked his head. "Yeah." He mumbled and creeped back out the door.

A few beats passed before a shuddering exhale left the prisoner's lungs, his head falling with a faint sob.

Ruddiger padded at his face.

Varian looked into the raccoon's eyes.

And Ruddiger understood.

-

Eugene whistled, slightly disgruntled and confused with the discussion with Varian as he closed the door behind him.

He went inside, passing by Lance and popped out the top to find Cassandra and Rapunzel taking the reins.

The two quickly noticed him and looked his way.

"So?" Rapunzel asked hastily.

"So," Eugene moved his mouth, opening and closing it as he tried to process the information and how exactly to say it.

He decided to, well, put it bluntly.

"So Varian was born a girl, but, up in his brain, he knows he's a boy. He changed his outside look to match his mind, and now he's a boy. And he wants to be called and treated as such. He got his name from the Flynnigan Rider books." He sighs, deflating as he rests his arms on the wooden roof. "I guess we're a bit more alike than I thought."

Cass raised a brow at this. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." The man inhaled, hissing through gritted teeth. "We both grew up as a person we weren't, changed ourselves, took our name from a book - _the same book_ \- and hate being called our old names because it reminds us of someone we're not."

"Wait, wait," The blonde paused, "What was Varian's old name?"

Eugene bit his lip. "I don't think that's our business, princess."

Rapunzel deflated, eyes downcast. "Oh."

"Sunshine." Eugene sighed through his nose. "I understand you're curious, but- he told me it was his birth name, a girly one. He's just not that person anymore."

She nodded, seeming to understand. "Alright."

Cassandra exhaled, grabbing onto the reins. "Okay. Let's head back into town, then."

-

Great. Now, after another one of Rapunzel's _heroic stunts_ , they were here with this _Quaid_ guy, and had to bribe a little girl into showing them where his residence was. No matter how much he agreed with her statements about Rapunzel being an outsider and all that, he hated that they had to pay, and, now, they would have to go on some kooky adventure, no doubt.

But the princess was insistent and went on, sunshiny attitude and all.

However, Varian still snickered when the captain slammed the door in the "not guilty twins" 's faces, not before threatening their entire wellbeing.

He, too, had opted to stay outside. Better than in there and with the princess and her bubbly nonsense.

Now they were helping this bozo get back into captainship. With his army full of bees. Great.

Oh. Now they were "inspiring him". Even better.

And this plan, personally, was a tragedy.

And it ended that way, too.

It was working, at first, and even Vex seemed to be getting hopeful, a smile finding her face more often than not.

Stars. She was smile so wide, so genuine, it was almost kind of worrying. Almost, if not for the fact that Rapunzel's attitude, unfortunately, is infectious as hell.

But all things eventually break.

As Eugene pulled Rapunzel from the door, which Quaid had just slammed in all their faces after that horrible dinner disaster, Varian stared hard into the front door.

He growled as he began to walk towards it. He banged the chains on his hands against the wood, not caring how it dug into his wrists even deeper as he did so. "Come on, you sorry excuse for a deputy!" He yelled, "Are you really going to give up, just like that? Just like the people did on you, way back when? People are going to lose _everything_ , tomorrow! And so are you, and I swear to all that is celestial, you bring your sorry ass out here and _fight_! Because the stars _know_ I did not just spend the entire day tagging along with these jerks, only for the one person who seemed to give this absolute dump of a town a reason to have hope to give up at the last second!" At the lack of response, Cassandra walking up behind him and grabbing him firmly on the shoulder and beginning to pull him away, he continued, resisting, "Do you hear me, you sad sack of shit? You are _not_ giving up on them, not now! Not again"

The guard tugged him roughly, and he shut his mouth, having been finished anyway, and glared holes into the wood, hoping, _daring_ , for that sad excuse of a hero to come out.

But he didn't, and Cass moved him along.

-

This guy, The Collector, seemed an awful lot like the automatons, and silently, curiously, Varian wondered if he was a machine, after all.

He was freakishly tall, covered head to toe in metal, and breathed so deep that they couldn't possibly be human.

He was able to quickly neutralize most of the princess' team, and brush off her attempt to knock him down.

This was it, Varian thought, and he knew he wasn't the only one, this was where they were all to be laid to waste. And he hadn't even gotten his father a proper burial, the very least he could give. He was a failure of a son. His father was right to be disappointed in him, and, boy, if he wouldn't be disappointed now.

That's when the sheriff rounded the corner, and sent an army of bees to get under the heavy-weighted armor to send him running away, practically screaming.

And, Varian knew, he should be happy, but -

Suddenly, the whole town was fighting back against The Weasel and his goons, who were easily defeated, sheriff and deputy in tow. The whole town, together. It could almost make Varian smile.

Almost.

When the locals started cleaning, he ran up to Quaid and decked him, rusty handcuffs and all, in the face before anyone could even think to stop him, a big, pink bruise already forming on the man's face. The sheriff looked at him in temporary shock, before it melted away into a look of understanding. Good. That was the whole purpose of that. He allowed himself no visual reaction of this victory, instead staring at Quaid with that same, judgemental face he gave that door. He was pulled away by Cass again, and Eugene placed a hand on the man's shoulder, reassuring that _"He's just like that"_ and _"Don't take it too personally"_.

But maybe it was a little more personal than Varian would like to admit.

Then, it was time to leave, not after some Goodwill Festival, which turned out to be a more of a contest, in which her highness and handmaiden just _had_ to have. Varian gladly stayed in his cell the whole time, and soon enough, they set off on the road again, not before setting a beast to attack the town and promptly take it down. Oh, and bid adieu to Sheriff Quaid and Deputy Vex.

-

A few days past, and Eugene was really letting this "King of the Wild" stuff get to his head. And that was when Sword Lady, who no one has told their prisoner the name of yet, came to chop him down a few sizes. And a tree. She chopped an entire tree in half, the mad lad.

After some convincing, Adira was let onto the team.

Varian was forced to stay inside, as a punishment for being particularly violent in Vardaros.

It had turned night time and it was obvious that they were completely and utterly lost.

The others were fighting about something, something about- nicknames? Varian noticed the air in the caravan growing dense and musty, hearing the ground beginning to shift around them. His heart began to race and he shot up from his bed, but he fell when trying to run to the door because of the shackle around his ankle connected to the wall near the bed. His jaw thumped loudly on the ground, causing him to groan lowly. "Guys!" He yelled, attempting to pull himself up off the ground, but the vehicle swayed, going deeper into the shifting dirt, until then the air growing thinner until they somehow floated back out at the end of his forest. Heart beating out of his chest, he breathed in the new, fresher air, frantically questioning what just happened as he rolled onto his back and sat up, resting on the wall near the bed.

"R- Rapunzel?" He called, "Cassie? Gene?" He grew more and more desperate as the silence dragged on, "L-Lance? Anyone?"

Ruddiger crawled out under the bed, who seemed to have been asleep for all of this and had just woke up, bounded up Varian's arm and perched on his shoulders, chattering comfortingly, and perhaps a little confused. The boy ripped him off his shoulders and pulled him towards his chest, sobbing silently into his pelt. The raccoon did not mind, allowing the boy to cry into and squeeze him however he wants.

They were outside the forest, and they could only pray for the others' safety.

After what felt like forever, his tears having ceased and his sporadic breathing falling to a natural pace, the door was pushed open, allowing light back into the dark room. Sunlight hit his face and he winced, pulling back with a hiss as he inhaled through his teeth. Ruddiger stared up at the people, a sad look in his eye, and the two people exchanged a silent conversation between each other, deciding to leave the two alone.

As they begin to leave, they hear Varian call out. "W- Wait!" They looked back and his entire body was trembling slightly, "Please, don't- don't leave me here, I want-" he said weakly, pitifully. The man looked at the blonde beside him. She nodded, prompting him to step onto the hardwood floor and towards the shivering boy. His raccoon staring at him guardedly, and Eugene just about broke. He was a loyal friend and protector, but it hurt at the thought that he thought they would ever physically hurt his boy on purpose.

He carefully took off all of Varian's restraints, trying his best not to touch him, in order to not make him flinch, or lash out, or anything of the sort.

"Kid," he whispered, and he felt the boy flinch ever so slightly, "I'm going to have to touch you so I can get you up and out, okay?"

Varian nodded slowly.

Eugene breathed out. "Okay." He put a gentle had under his armpits and pulled him up off the ground. He then let go and lead him out the door.

The alchemist squinted at the bright light, but opened them wider when his eyes adjusted.

"Varian," Eugene sounded, Rapunzel watching sadly from a short distance. "I need to fix up your wrists, okay? They're pretty bruised."

Varian nodded, almost unresponsively, like he wasn't actually listening.

The man's heart sunk. "Okay." He walked over to a separate compartment filled with medical supplies and took the necessary thing out. He kneeled down and worked quickly on Varian's wrists, knowing just what to do. You pick that stuff up, living as a kid, all alone in the real world. He cleaned his neck as well - wouldn't want those bruises getting irritated, too.

"You shouldn't bang your chains on things anymore," Eugene said quietly, looking up at Varian from the ground, who seemed to be focused off in a complete, other dimension.

"Okay. I'm sorry," Varian's voice broke, "I don't know what happened, I was scared that you.." his voice trailed off, and he looked away, as embarrassed of his fear.

"But we didn't," Eugene stood up, taking a deep breath. "And it's okay. Do you want to stay outside?"

Varian seemed to take this into consideration. "Yes, please. Um-" his finders fidgeted with his own hands, "Can you tell me who that lady was? If- if we're going to be on this adventure together, I want to know." He paused, wondering if he missed something. "Please," he slapped on the end.

Eugene paused, looking over at Rapunzel. She peered back, a little dejected, but continued. "We don't actually know," She said, and Varian's head snapped to her, seemingly only just then realizing she was there. His breath hitched, eyes widening ever-so slightly. Just as soon as that fear came, it was gone, overpowered by a curiosity.

"That's," he started, pausing as he begun to process, "Kinda shady."

Cass walked over with a huff, joining in on the conversation. "Don't have to tell me twice," she placed a hand on her hip, and Varian lowered his head. She raised a brow at the motion but paid little mind to otherwise. "Are we ready to go, or does baby anarchist need some rest?"

Varian grimaced, but his face was angled towards the ground, so none of them saw. "No, I-I'm okay," he mumbled, picking nervously at his bandages.

The three adults exchanged a look, but didn't push.

"Alrighty, kid, let's get you back inside," Eugene said softly, quietly ushering the prisoner towards his cell. When inside, he had finally got a good look at the room. The bed was now adjacent from the wall, pulled out of place, covers messy and unkempt. The wooden floor fresh scratches and indents, insinuated by the warm, yellow light coming from the burning oil lamp. The where chain met wall, it almost seemed like someone had tried to rip it off, to no avail.

Eugene whistled an exhale. "Did you try to escape, or something?" He joked, awkwardly trying to lighten the mood. But, from the kid's expression, it was true.

"Y-yeah," Varian started, his voice small and quiet. "But I just- I was scared. Sorry."

Eugene shook his head. "No. You don't have to be sorry about that, Varian." At the lack of an answer, he fixed the bed and put it back up against the wall. He gestured for Varian to sit, and did, and looked up to him after a moment.

"Aren't you going to chain me?" He asked, and the ex-con hesitated.

"Um. No," he kneeled down onto the floor, "No. But, uh, I still have to keep watch. You know. Prisoner.."

Varian slowly nodded his head, not knowing what to think of that, but accepted either way, and, for that, Eugene was grateful. He wanted to be there for the kid, keep him safe, and be able to, maybe, comfort him if he needed it. Because, god dang it, he was a kid. And maybe that made him care more than he should. He shifted to a more comfortable sitting position on the floor. And, secretly, something he would never say out loud, Varian was happy he was there. Not because he wanted him specifically to be there, buy he simply didn't want to be alone right now.

"You should keep your arms and neck elevated, it'll help with the bruises. The faster they're gone, the faster we can.." the man's voice trailed off. _Cuff you again_ , he was going to say, but maybe that wasn't the right thing to do. "You can come on more adventures with us, huh?"

Something in those blue eyes brightened at that. "Yeah, o-okay."

-

One traumatic bird experience, a wacky date, with a monkey, apparently, and a few days later, the stranger showed up again, wanting to talk to Rapunzel. They had set up camp probably a few hours ago, and they were all sitting around the fire, trying to listen in on what Adira, which Varian had just learned was her name a few days ago, and Rapunzel were talking about. Lance tried to read Adira's lips, and said something like "follow your dust to me." Varian elbowed him in the chest, grinning at his less-than-great lip reading, to which the older male smiled sheepishly back.

A weird feeling cascaded up and down his skin. His head snapped up, peering at the two ladies. The woman talking to the princess had turned towards Varian, Rapunzel glancing back as well. Varian stiffened. Were they talking about him? Why were they looking at him?

And then, the moment was gone, and the two were turned back to each other, speaking silently again.

"Aw, come on, buddy, I'm sure it's nothing too bad," Lance, who he had forgotten was there, sounded by his side, and he nearly jumped out of his skin. The older male put his hands up to show he wasn't a threat. "Woah, sorry! Didn't mean to scare you."

Varian stared at him for a moment, trying to focus on him and not the inconspicuous whispering from a distance. Lance slowly put his hands down and Varian loosened slightly, though that anxious feeling did not go away. "Yeah, okay."

Soon enough, Rapunzel was walking back, and the warrior was gone. "Alright, gang," she grinned, "Pack up!"

Everyone groaned exaggeratedly, but got up and began to do as she said.

They set off, not before the princess told them why, to a mountain in the near distance. Something about a spire - Varian wasn't really listening.

There was a roar, sounding from somewhere up the mountain, and Ruddiger ducked his head low, making his body small on Varian's shoulders. He reached out and pet the animal, trying his best to comfort him. Then, they knocked on the door, only for a stalky, frankly very annoying already, even though she just showed up two seconds ago, woman to walk out and greet them.

They were led in and Calliope had some long-winded speech about the relics kept within the spire. It was obviously all for show and theatrics.

And, oh, she was already annoying the alchemist to the _bone_. So when she started explaining where the word spire came from, _incorrectly_ , he couldn't help but correct her.

"It originates from the word spir," He said dully, to which the keeper waved him off and continued on. They moved on to go to the next room, not before Calliope called Cass Rapunzel's mom, which Varian did laugh at, alongside Lance. Then the girl started playing magic tricks, and, oh, Varian was _done_. Although he tried to tolerate the illusions for the stars know how many hours, humans can only take so much. He grabbed the rings whenever she went on for another encore and flung them out the window, sending them falling down the mountain side, staring Calliope deathly in the eyes.

"Well! Looks like you can't do magic anymore, sorry! Let's go." Eugene exclaimed, hopping up from the floor. "Blondie," He turned and smiled at his girlfriend, "Let's all talk, outside, together, _now_."

They all walked out and begun to talk, and it was becoming more evident that even _Rapunzel_ was getting annoyed. Which came as a shocker, considering she's the most annoying person in their group - in Varian's book. But maybe he's a bit biased.

Then, they had to wait until morning to be able to start the journey to the top, because the keeper wanted to sleep. And use French incorrectly. And it started raining, and they had no caravan or anything to take shelter. So Varian simply opened the door back inside with a sigh. "Okay, we're the guests, and we're staying. Come on."

Rapunzel stared at him lie he was crazy. "What? But we can't-" before she finished, she saw everyone heading in.

Cassandra sighed. "Sorry, Raps, but I'm not sleeping out in the rain. Like Var said, we're the guests. Besides, we can just sleep on the floor or something."

And that was that. They were going to be sleeping inside.

-

The next day started off horribly, with Calliope waking them up with pots and pans.

But, soon enough, they were scaling the mountainside. Though the keeper kept 'encouraging' them constantly. She sounded like one of those obnoxious instructors in school, with their annoying prodding that they labeled 'motivation' and kept berating you with, no matter how many times you tell them to _"Shut up"_ in your mind.

"Oh," Varian bemoaned, holding his head in his hands to try and keep away a growing migraine, "I'm done. Take me back to prison. I'll spend my time there, thank you very much. Anything but _this_."

Rapunzel went on to spew about how "It's a new day," and, "Give her a chance!" and it, frankly, was not working in the boy's favor.

Was this how Varian was like? Sure, he was a bit condescending and maybe a bit snarky, or even overly enthused - neglect a boy and he _will_ find a way to get validation - but was he ever this _annoying_?

Whatever, he thought, the quicker this was over, the better.

After plenty ear-grating quips from Calliope, a near death experience in which both Lance and Varian had shared - Varian _really_ needs to stay away from heights from now on - a realization that they were going the wrong way and being attacked by a beast, then getting chased into a cave, they finally found their way to the top.

And Varian had begun to severely doubt that Calliope was the keeper at all.

To which he turned out to be right.

Skipping through - they eventually got inside, got whatever they were looking for, and went on their way. Calliope got her good ending, so at last she won't be bothering them for a while.

-

That night, when they set up camp, they were all sitting by the fire. Rapunzel stared at the scroll piece for a moment before opening it, causing people to gather around her.

"A guy in a hood?" Eugene mumbled, "All this for a guy in a hood?"

"Who do you think it is?" Cassandra asked.

"I'm not sure," Rapunzel answered, staring at the illustration.

Varian's interest was piqued by all the mumbling, and he walked over to catch a glimpse of the parchment. A soft gasp escaped him when he recognized who it was. "Oh, I know!" He exclaimed in realization. Suddenly, all eyes were on him and he shrunk down. He smiled awkwardly. "It's Demanitus," he explained in a quieter tone. "Only the best engineer and alchemist ever." His smile became strained as he spoke, "I wanted to be like him. I still do," Varian sighed, "But he's good, and I'm bad. Curious, how it ends up that way, isn't it?"

The others looked a little more than unnerved at his query, but Rapunzel simply sighed. "Varian," she began warily, "Can you help translate the scroll?"

He looked over the group cautiously, and they were all watching him with anticipation. It seemed that Rapunzel had talked to them about this exact question, and decided that it should be left up to him. He nodded nervously.

"Yeah," Varian shifted awkwardly in his spot, a weird feeling down his skin unsettling him, "I can."

Adira began to walk away from the tree she was standing behind, a knowing smile plastered on her face.

And the feeling was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still don't know if Varian's whole ordeal with eyes is going to be some sort of supernatural sixth sense influenced by the moonstone but. It's leaning more towards that
> 
> The reason why Varian gets super mad at Quaid is because Var really was just trying to help Corona in the beginning, and even kept trying to after his descent by trying to make the king realize that he need can't ignore problems like he's been doing with the rocks until shit gets out of hand. So he gets mad that Quaid tried to give up and, in turn, ignore the problem like the king did.
> 
> Is this foreshadowing for the king getting slapped? ...maybe????


End file.
